To the guys saying they want a girl who will fix them a snack after sex: If she's capable of walking you haven't earned a goddamn sandwich!

If she's in her 30s or 40s and single, there's no game you can play that she hasn't seen. Except being honest. Try that shit.

Girls, you know that male friend who listens to you cry about the asshole who dumped you? Give him a blowjob from time to time. He earns it.

Being "his" whore and being "a" whore are entirely different things.

Guys with library cards are far more interesting than those with platinum cards.

I'd rather be alone forever than spend the rest of my life in bed beside someone who allows me to feel lonely.

Girls like to call me a whore. Guys like to call me.

Dear Girls, Stop falling in love with the potential of a man. Love and appreciate him for exactly who he is right now or move along.

I don't need a man who will sleep in the wet spot. I just need a man capable of helping me make one.

Geography is the ultimate cock-blocker.

Hey guys, just because a girl loves sex and doesn't stay quiet about that fact, it doesn't automatically make her a slut. Let that sink in.

Intelligence is its own curse. You will never be capable of blissful ignorance.

I was raped. This is my story. It's ugly and graphic and brutal. But it's also why I revel in my sexuality now.  http://screamingfromtheinside.blogspot.com/2004/08/joans-story.html …

Retweets are like blowjobs...if you earn them, you never have to ask for them.

If one more guy tells me I'm the marrying kind I'm gonna scream? Can't I just be the "bang her in the bathroom & not stalk her later" kind?!

If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?

If you want your guy to gaze lovingly into your eyes...just look up while his cock is in your mouth.

Guys, if she calls it a 'cock,' not a 'dick,' she'll definitely take it in the ass. You're welcome.

Keep his cock hard and his heart will stay soft.

Whatever your partner's sexual kink may be, embrace it, research it, become a goddamn expert at it and you'll be the one to reap the rewards