@Alter_ed's (Edwina) most faved Tweets...
Publicly denouncing someone by name for unfolliwing you is coincidentally the exact moment they became certain they made the right choice.
1) Think of great tweet.
2) Open app.
3) read ur tweets
4) laff, laff, laff
5) Star, star star.
6) Forgot good tweet
7) *sigh*
8) Close app.
2) Open app.
3) read ur tweets
4) laff, laff, laff
5) Star, star star.
6) Forgot good tweet
7) *sigh*
8) Close app.
Someone just called me a "trader" on FB because I switched to Twitter.
Any questions?
No, I didn't think so.
Any questions?
No, I didn't think so.
Blaming bad manners on drugs or alcohol merely cements the notion that your uninhibited self is also a total bitch.
I think I've finally figured out how to say this.
If you want me to follow you back you're just going to have to be fucking funnier.
If you want me to follow you back you're just going to have to be fucking funnier.
Um... NO I won't tell you where to find me on Twitter, facebook fraquaintance. That's where I bitch about you guys to my imaginary friends.
Hey guys, there's a little too much tragedy in my comedy right now. I think I need a Twacation.
Star this if you'll still be here after.
Star this if you'll still be here after.
So I've figured out that I'm the horny guy in my relationship & huz is the frail one with the perma-headache. Nice.
Who's got the roofies?
Who's got the roofies?
Sometimes life is less like a box of chocolates and more like an IKEA hardware set with one of everything missing.
Again.
Again.
You don't *go* to McD's you end up at McD's.
Broke a 5 yr boycott streak today. I feel so dirty inside.
Broke a 5 yr boycott streak today. I feel so dirty inside.
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