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Let's be honest..
Some Shit I tweet is to be amusing.
Some Shit i tweet is real.
Some Shit i tweet is to vent.
You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them
A man's typical New Year's Resolution: Date more models. Revised: Date more. Revised: Get a date. Revised: Stop crying while masturbating.
I only go out to remember why I like being at home
if you follow people who annoy you
THEN YOU ARE THE IDIOT
A woman came from a mans rib
Not from his feet to be walked on...
But from his side to be equal...
and next to the heart to be loved..
A guy who initially shows interest that quickly fades
is like a girl who pretends to love giving blowjobs, then just stops doing it
if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you
Its too late to eat candy
But its too late to remove it from my mouth
The child in me
Had fun sliding down the stairs
The adult in me
Now has rug burn on her Ass and thighs and is pissed
I feel sorry for the man that marries me, I hope his dick stays hard
His ears can't hear
His legs don't work
so he can't run away..
No it ISN'T me..
Its a YOU.
its the way you chew...
And your sock... I don't like your left sock.
If I get nervous before a tweet
I picture you all naked, fucking all hot and sweaty
Then I masturbate and forget about the Tweet I started.
I think you belong between my thighs
I miss childhood
Not MY childhood
But the perfect ones on tv
I miss that and I want that.
Just because your hand is up my skirt
Doesn't mean I'm your puppet
...a silent showing of appreciation
...the LOUDEST GREATEST form of flattery and appreciation
If you don't talk to me
I don't know you really exist
That's how the follow goes
18hrs of sleeping with intermission sex
they say virgos are perfect, they were right #Virgo