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Most problems can be solved with
I only go out to remember why I like being at home
You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them
I do most of my thinking AFTER I do something stupid
if you follow people who annoy you
THEN YOU ARE THE IDIOT
A man's typical New Year's Resolution: Date more models. Revised: Date more. Revised: Get a date. Revised: Stop crying while masturbating.
No matter how busy I am ,I always find time to procrastinate
Just because your hand is up my skirt
Doesn't mean I'm your puppet
Because nothing this wet should be left untouched
Retweeting Cures Narcissism
Fuck a sandwich, I bring him Beer after sex
Pros don't ever use the Tip.
I feel sorry for the man that marries me, I hope his dick stays hard
His ears can't hear
His legs don't work
so he can't run away..
I met a guy or two from twitter
Not only did they tell "jokes" on twitter
But THEY were actually JOKES in real life
I think Im in Heat
I dont always think about sex, sometimes I think about sleeping
I really really wanted to follow your account but it doesn't look like you EVER Retweet.
So no, I'm not following
A relationship where
He wears the pants
And I, I wear nothing but an apron
I know.. I don't get me either