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Thanks to hip hop, I can tell you the area codes of most major cities.
I love walking into Victoria's Secret pregnant and reminding everyone this is what happens when you wear sexy underwear.
Lady at the gym: "What do you do?"
Me: "I'm a writer."
Lady: "No, I mean for a living."
I wonder if Chris Martin is listening to a lot of Coldplay now.
No need to say "FYI." If you are speaking, you are giving me information.
I got an email reminder about a Bridal Show on Sunday. I forwarded it to my fiancé but changed the subject to FREE FOOD.
Kim Kardashian has dated, married, divorced, dated again, and gotten engaged again in a shorter time than it takes me to grow out my bangs.
"I do my best work when I'm micro- managed," -Nobody, ever.
My computer and my phone need to fucking figure out who is going to tell me I have new email first.
Animals are f*cking amazing! That's why Noah only put animals on the ark and was like fuck all y'all and your negativity.
Wife, Mom, Sr. Copywriter for cool stuff, Comedy writer for networks I only dreamed of having as a latchkey kid. Inquiries: AmandaCaswell at gmail dot com
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