Hey people with those freakishly blue headlights, we all hate you.

Mom: Amanda how many kids are you gonna have?
Me: Hopefully none, ever.
Dad: Amanda how many cats are you gonna have?
Me: Leave me alone. :(

Six years ago today Britney Spears shaved her head bald for your sins.

When I say "there's nothing to eat" I really mean there's nothing microwavable or unwrappable so I'm gonna go hungry because I'm a lazy cunt

I've never smoked a cigarette. I dunno, I feel like that's a big accomplishment.

I hate when a bunch of people follow me after I post one good tweet, like it'll happen again. It was a freak accident.

The guys I talk to aren't nerdy enough. Don't you know I just wanna watch Lord of the Rings and eat nachos?

I'm the worst with choices. No one should ever give me choices. I'll fuck it up every time.

I'm getting better at just being a rude bitch to people.

I'm just a poster child for downward spirals.

I worry 24/7, and 95% of what I worry about is completely irrational.

it's not even that weird to talk to trees, really. -.-

Messy hair don't care ;p Yep yep. pic.twitter.com/Dh3i9kqeDi

Those poor people who woke up today oblivious to the fact that their lives were going to change forever. :/

I foresee a brilliant downward spiral from here on out.

Oh you know just waiting for under eye circles to become attractive or whatever. pic.twitter.com/VebaW9Xp1x

I literally feel bad because even people I like I don't like about 75% of the time.

Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind.

I'm in one of those "let's-have-a-long-intellectual-conversation" moods and there are a very limited number of people I can have them with.

I could count on one hand the number of people who don't annoy me here.