@AmyJane's (Amy Jane Gruber) most faved Tweets...
On the phone with Mom. Her phone starts beeping, like it's dialing. Mom panics, yells "The TiVo needs to use the phone!" and hangs up on me.
Jonas to my grandfather, who is in a new nursing home: "You're pretty lucky, Papa, because there's a graveyard next door for when you die."
"So, can I tell Santa that God isn't real?" Sounds like someone had another enlightening talk with Daddy.
A young boy: "If we get a dog I promise I'll take care of him!"
A grown man: "I'll vacuum all the time if we get a Dyson!"
Lies.
A grown man: "I'll vacuum all the time if we get a Dyson!"
Lies.
"Well, Mom, it's kind of a bad night because the internet is expecting John and I to get drunk and fight on Twitter. It's hard to explain."
Jon Stewart gets bleeped. Jonas leans over to me and quietly says, "I think he said 'fucking'." Pretty sure I'm doing it wrong.
John: "Mama and Daddy make the rules."
Jonas: "Mama makes the rules. If Mama DIES then you can make the rules."
I snickered.
Jonas: "Mama makes the rules. If Mama DIES then you can make the rules."
I snickered.
You know you're going to get the worst margarita of your life when the server asks if you want whipped cream on it.
If you are in a relationship with a computer nerd, you come to realize that one way he or she expresses love is by updating your software.
I would like to have a podcast where you call in and I tell you exactly what I think your fucking problem is.
When I see someone imply that his free speech rights have been violated by a blog disabling comments, I remember why I never read comments.
Thanks to Twitter, I now know that celebrities are not so fascinating. Many of them are not only dull, but bordering on illiterate.
The question he's been waiting for: Jonas just asked John what the internet is. I've got to get out of here.
I know my husband is a nerd, but even I was not prepared when during "Milk" he started SHRIEKING; "OMG, You don't mix Futura and Helvetica!"
I'm out with my husband and his phone is dead and it's delightful. He's practically drooling while watching me type this.
My sister thought Hunter S. Thompson was on the Supreme Court. Before I ridiculed her I pondered just how awesome that would have been.
"Please don't cheat on me at Macworld." "WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" "No. I just like to say things no one has ever said before."
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