Story Idea: What if Barbie had machine gun hands?

@sirrruh It is very efficient. This way she can peacock while getting her much needed cat food.

Advice: Never ask a man with no shoes for directions. He will probably give you the most boring path with very few sharp things.

Movie Title: Dangerous Gophers

@shariv67 You are going to have to go through a lot of glass c*** rings to find your prince. By c*** I of course mean cake...or do I?

@shariv67 Yet another tweet that shows that you are just a natural giver.

@karenbergreen Maybe those 9 are other experts so they count for more? Social Media math can be hard.

@shariv67 If he can do both I would suggest you offer to act as that kid's agent immediately. Possible gold mine.

Reminder to any that know me in real life. My fiance and her daughter should always be referred to as their aliases of Gertrude and Carol.

Story Idea: He's an old cop with just one more day left before he retires... He spends the day doing paperwork and someone buys him lunch.

@josephscrimshaw "Press my stomach button for fast food gorging! Put on bathrobe accessory for tears of regret! Tears sold separately."

@shariv67 Could be worse.Maybe one day you too can play a character with an awesome name like Dr. William 'Snapper' Foster or Mungo Prentice

Watching Doctor Who on my Xbox while working on blog junk on my laptop. I think my nerd level just went up.

@shariv67 "Sometimes everyone just dies instead and it's super sad and supposed to be deep." ~Hollywood when they are trying to be "edgy"

@raydauphinais Do you think the rest will be on Facebook?

@shariv67 You should check with your island ice tea provider. Could be a technical problem. Improper mixing could lead to brain fuel gap.

@shariv67 Good thing those are two of your favorite things.

I will hopefully see the Avengers tonight. That means I get to finally be one of the cool kids right? Isn't that how it works?

@ohnoshetwitnt There are a few on tumblr. For your viewing enjoyment: http://t.co/pS5AyoYQ

@seanvandaleyes @mandaface17 @trumpetcake This is one of the nerdiest tweets I have ever seen. I whole heartily approve and salute you.