@AndyJukes' (Andy Jukes) most faved Tweets...
@stevewhitaker Starbucks for iPhone: throw your phone as far as you can. Walk to pick it up. Look up. There's a Starbucks.
We caught our seven-year-old reading Calvin & Hobbes with a flashlight way past bedtime. My heart swells on so many levels. He gets it!
Just peed on the cat a little bit. Didn't realize she was sleeping next to that tree. Don't worry, she'll sleep on my face later.
Fly, little tweet, with your grammatical inconsistency! I release you malformed into the greater conversation! As usual!
Outdoor cat is furious with me, like I caused all this rain. Indoor cat just shrugs, yawns and stretches. The dog remains stupid.
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My Grade 2 has a homework assignment: why was John Lennon important? I suddenly realize I've been preparing for this moment my entire life.
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The cats don't seem to care about being fed any more. Which leads me to be believe they're getting some on the side.
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Washing machine must have been pretty unbalanced. Looks like it was trying to make a break for freedom.
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Lady, it's 9:30 in the evening. For whose benefit are you carrying a pre-verbal child in a Tigger suit from door to door, begging for candy?
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Thanksgiving dinner for 10 successfully completed. I take no credit for any of it except the angry confrontations. Those were all mine, Mom!
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So am I right in assuming that 95% of childrens' medicine is sugar? Because they sure do bounce back fast. Ungrateful little fucks.
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Setting up the old baby monitor in the basement so I can tell when the laundry's done. My MacArthur Genius Grant is imminent.
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I've had this iPhone for a year and a half and today I discovered the speaker thingie is also a pause button. Not a big reader of manuals.
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I got followed today by a guy who's very funny but he posts about every 30 seconds. So, good for him, but I can't devote the brain power.
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My eldest likes t-shirts with skulls, strange flourishes and random phrases in horrible Gothy fonts. But he's 7. I think he can be saved.
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