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#IfIWereAnAlpha I'd probably put it in Stiles.
This is a tweet about a girl named Lucky.
Gaga is making a hat out of live cockroaches. I don't want to live on the same planet as her anymore.
If you don't have anything nice to tweet, don't tweet anything at all. Save it as a draft and publish at the end of the month.
I don't want to work today. I just want to play Seven Up and hopefully not get picked so I can just keep my head on my desk.
I just think it's so funny that Cher Lloyd got American airplay before Cheryl Cole.
CrossFit is the new Scientology.
Eating at #ChickfilHATE won't erase the gay porn from your son's browser history.
Beyonce is having a second child so that Blue Ivy won't have to have play dates with Kimye's baby.
I can’t wait for my tumblr dash to be flooded with GIFs of Joe Jonas licking a dildo.
In lieu of an ohm, I want to get a tattoo of the nail painting emoji on my shoulder. 💅
"CHOKE ME WITH THOSE THIGHS" is going to be my new pick up line.
"Do you know about that Chris Cracker guy who dressed up as a woman in defense of Britney Spears?" - My Mom, 12:29PM, 7/2/12.
Avocado aficionado. Opinions are not my own, but the Yeerk's in my head.