Fuck off http://t.co/uGKS7T03

Pretty sure most of you are your own Twitter crush.

My chin. Your balls.

Just tried to *squirt* and ended up pissing on my couch, and cat :(

Looking for a guy with a boner to cook me breakfast.

Due to technical difficulties, I will be rubbin' one out, manually.

Chicks take huge shits too, guys. Remember that next time you see a hottie.

Man the fuck up and lick my butthole!

This clit boner is 'bout to bust through my pants.

Oh I'm sorry. Couldn't hear you. Was busy being fucking awesome!!!

I don't fuck on the first date. Pffffffttttt! JUST KIDDING!!!

BAN TOGETHER FRIENDS! Get this fucker OFF of Twitter! Child Porn is NOT COOL!! SICK!!! @many501611

Guy Fieri has to be the ugliest lesbian I've ever seen.

Won't lie. I pull over when I see horses screwing.

Wanna say to my ex (since he still follows me) hope u get a chance to suck a fat hard one, cuz Lord knows I never had that chance with u :)

Beautiful day to wear a sundress, without underwear.

Feel my boobs, n' stuff.

Fuck my mouth you asshole!

American: LOL. Asian: ROR.

If my snorting cocaine and fucking on my period makes you uncomfortable... obviously you didn't attend Christian church camp as a child.