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  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!!
    But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer.

    She never even knew.

    • 2,849
    • FAVS
    Screebaiamsbeekahseng95Andrashockerjustwanttobeme3LMHPhotogFebWinGianDoh
    • 1,688
    • RETWEETS
    mdpakrattAndrashockerFebWinGianDohlllvvvzzzWarWithMyMindOne2thTEXANlucy_nyholm123
    DeanB15savvystridermlinhartCarmel_Coleman9to5LifellvvzzzSquareKnightSgtButtCheeks
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs...But I totally trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.

    • 2,142
    • FAVS
    aKhalifa101ParysPBmrsstenvert1973jose17plausiblyrebornjayjay195053pamelacanamaya
    • 1,640
    • RETWEETS
    mdpakrattrickyfourie1_SusanWillisplausiblyrebornjayjay1950BarkingMadGCgenevievedoullmercurialmaid
    MidgetsparLiberty_JunkieSoapyJohnsonLeaMehannafarleftcoastPeaceInTruth1jayna_patriceschuzamLakeOconeeBldr____
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    I don't sign anything without pretending to read it first.

    • 2,092
    • FAVS
    PS_IRuddYouRaMazing1Old_Buddy_BoyTheTalkingPipePamfusciousvivalareinedeafsongbirdTerriVanech
    • 1,133
    • RETWEETS
    gwyniCTheTalkingPipesarahmc_photoKateWhineHallkatzedietrichJayTia13eternalita24JohnWL1990
    CroweJamhoops_DaddylovablelucasTomFuck4themorris23djr_102PORNOPINIONSunnyGirl1717ICagbanusiCarmel_ColemanDoom_JediMidgetspar
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    I just googled "dying alone" and it brought me to my own twitter timeline.

    • 1,709
    • FAVS
    shaznxJessiCanadianErikCianciallthingspoeticparupaajSaint_Sexynomes_uSweetCakeShake1
    • 789
    • RETWEETS
    jewelzfoolzsukaina_3parupaajadityaaomthepaolocnomes_uLavalandddsydn3ystfu
    chopper4jkcarpeJosephiamfasebillymeetsworld
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    My favourite part of guys in their 20's trying to pick me up is that I can tell them my number is 867-5309 and they believe me.

    • 1,404
    • FAVS
    fuzzyjetsfanceustacecoreyddavisapaulothirteenTonyaYorkDeesSSparklesDailyPrincessBuckeyeredpawn3
    • 647
    • RETWEETS
    SSparklesDailyPrincessBuckeyehirojesusPamfuscioustailing2ideasBSCampneyVanVeenBTampaBayMomma
    TheTweetParrotBlACk__ThRoaTso_amusedslyoung5BillArrundalePORNOPINIONFormerGrunt______chopper4jkfullblowndaveTheEnormity__
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    If you are honestly interested in me for me and not just sex, you are gonna get sooo much sex.

    • 1,336
    • FAVS
    TimB5150LoveFelimissmadisonjoyAAkatz24PrincessBuckeyehirojesusPamfusciousForberocity
    • 538
    • RETWEETS
    PrincessBuckeyehirojesusRealShaughnSSpiffyTwitDaringDareBearsachi_bbsrTheRealRHBrobertseuan______
    VikeeysSecretMyFairCharitysavvystriderHappyHourJackchopper4jk
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North." Something you never hear in the news.

    • 952
    • FAVS
    zayoonfionadottermissmadisonjoyhirojesusDBMaxPSharpeBytesdirtydishtowelsDickstracted
    • 630
    • RETWEETS
    smuttastichirojesusPORNOPINIONfloral_tea__HahnCatherineDadandBuriedMythicalCrystalZirconpartial
    BruppFWTXBlazedDonuts______SoapyJohnsonNot_From_TroydeKenstructionWolfbaneMahler____ShoutingGoddess
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    I just dropped $2 somewhere under the passenger seat in my car, so I guess I have a savings account now.

    • 948
    • FAVS
    Archie_Pepperspaytonio69PoemWitrsz2534jeanettelimVlNSONPatFleming4andyfarrelsucks
    • 461
    • RETWEETS
    paytonio69dickurtisVlNSONkatmariadolanBrewsker69shadesoftaarNoMrcyNDFriendFromPluto
    One_FineMessCarmel_ColemangigglegirlnoelBDGarpslyoung5UnFitz
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    With this coupon, bras & panties are 20% off.
    That's nothing. With charm, a sense of humour and a little wine, bras & panties are 100% off.

    • 931
    • FAVS
    LoveFelihirojesusSharpeBytesbearcub577WarWithMyMindDadandBuriedNATxHANconcretesledge_
    • 345
    • RETWEETS
    xanrsahirojesusWarWithMyMindToodleTweetthebentonshowTheRealRHBrobertseuan______BareChesty
    JerIsJokingThe_MartiniGirltakemeusernameSuperStripers
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    My superpower is pretending I don't see red flags.

    • 797
    • FAVS
    PamfusciousSharpeBytesLorieGZWarWithMyMindNATxHANconcretesledge_CroweJamMcMiserable
    • 297
    • RETWEETS
    WarWithMyMindMcMiserablerobertseuan______BareChestyenragedpaigeCletusHammergunnerfan69__BeardedEoghan
    gingerfacedthedayofthedotChemBtwnUs________
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    Whenever anyone asks me for my advice, I take their face in my hands, lean in real close & whisper "you realize I'm a fucking idiot, right?"

    • 742
    • FAVS
    Jlofarsayssyaf16hPamfusciousSharpeBytesLorieGZdirtydishtowelsNyAdasWarWithMyMind
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    syaf16hweffy93WarWithMyMindSection411aPunch2theJunkDadandBuriedTlaxBoy05smirkykev
    JaySaysStufftwo1ohhbabydollOhMisterUnicornSergioValenCoslyoung5ClassicMeganSuperStripers
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    I'm not saying that you're boring and unattractive, but if you were an ice cream flavor you'd be the tub of water they rinse the scoops in.

    • 677
    • FAVS
    Pamfusciouskarenben_FSUSteve__SharpeBytesLorieGZWarWithMyMindDadandBuriedNATxHAN
    • 373
    • RETWEETS
    mdpakrattSharpeBytesWarWithMyMindTlaxBoy05McMiserablesachi_bbsrTheRealRHBKittenWritten
    TheWadestBrookeBabbling____
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    The biggest turn-on is a man with a huge vocabulary who knows how to use it.

    Size matters.

    • 728
    • FAVS
    LorieGZWarWithMyMindInsulinAddict12adisgraceful__paintedstitchedmorgmeneshetsDadandBuriedNATxHAN
    • 297
    • RETWEETS
    WarWithMyMindpaintedstitchedHahnCatherineDadandBuriedNinaKat72TlaxBoy05TheRealRHBrobertseuan______
    BlondeFacade______
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    Before twitter I thought the insane were sad and they need to get some help; now I think they are hilarious and they need to get some stars.

    • 752
    • FAVS
    LorieGZsiempredelilahEvidalsgWarWithMyMindDadandBuriedNATxHANconcretesledge_HonkyTonkJew
    • 208
    • RETWEETS
    vidalsgWarWithMyMindTlaxBoy05robertseuan______Bob_LawblawJaySaysStuffgunnerfan69__AdrianeZane
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    Found a skittle in my bra. Ate it. Sadest Saturday night ever.

    • 755
    • FAVS
    LorieGZdirtydishtowelsWarWithMyMindDadandBuriedNATxHANconcretesledge_HonkyTonkJewTlaxBoy05
    • 158
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05TheRealRHBrobertseuan______RealShaughngunnerfan69__futietonJaySaysStuffmatthewchan
    QuickBJ__________chrisanna4real
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    Someone just told me to "have a blessed day."
    What do you even say to someone like that? I just hissed at them.

    • 650
    • FAVS
    PamfusciousLorieGZWarWithMyMindInsulinAddict12AdeleGambaHumor_FetishDadandBuriedNATxHAN
    • 220
    • RETWEETS
    Violent2Dope304WarWithMyMindDadandBuriedzombiiiloveg4barryTlaxBoy05sachi_bbsrTheRealRHB
    aKhalifa101NolaChef504BruppFWTXthr33circles______1BigMickShoutingGoddess
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    I googled anal-retentive to see whether it needs a hyphen.

    • 680
    • FAVS
    dirtydishtowelsWarWithMyMindadisgraceful__aPunch2theJunkpaintedstitchedHiHighHigherDadandBuriedJBreverseme
    • 181
    • RETWEETS
    mdpakrattWarWithMyMindDadandBuriedTlaxBoy052happyrightThatsMyBushsmirkykevCroweJam
    Kali_MuraWerbo1937________tweetcomedian
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    So it turns out that gluten is the stuff in food that gives you the will to live.

    • 535
    • FAVS
    aKhalifa101LorieGZdirtydishtowelssiempredelilahEWarWithMyMindDadandBuriedSSparklesDailyChiira
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    WarWithMyMindgeniaandhersShoutingGoddessVashWdsUnspokenTlaxBoy05concretesledge_myDavidg4barry
    ramenfuneralWheelTod
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    Let's face it, twitter is not a hobby...it's more of a symptom.

    • 575
    • FAVS
    LorieGZWarWithMyMindJBreversemeMsPametnicatiki70Htown49erFanNATxHANlacrossemom5
    • 198
    • RETWEETS
    WarWithMyMindStrinzo13seattlerayartNATxHANTlaxBoy05robertseuan______danarox33BareChesty
    GreenheadsOnly____
  • Angrea
      Alpacino @Angrea

    Keeping a secret is hard.
    Being a secret is even harder.

    • 517
    • FAVS
    LorieGZWarWithMyMindDadandBuriedHtown49erFanhaykshanNATxHANstacibonbonVashWdsUnspoken
    • 239
    • RETWEETS
    WarWithMyMindTlaxBoy05robertseuan______BareChestynewstart43Winsome_Wenchfairy__unicornhirojesus
@Angrea

@Angrea

I accidentally said Spirk and Kock once. Practicing Canadian.