Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Here's why signing in is good for you.
My neighbors are pissed that I called them white trash, which I don't get because I totally said it in an endearing tone and everything.
@_kennyvee_ I know! I thought about that. I didn't want to Twittercide because I'd miss you guys too much! :)
Great news! I've learned that it's definitely not Twitter that's kept me from having a dating life.
Real life kicking me in the ass so I'll be back in a few days. Be prepared to be fucked senseless when I return. I'll star-fuck you, too.
When men check out my midsection instead of my ass, that means they're picturing me carrying their baby, right?
I got kicked out of a card game for cheating. These brats take Go Fish a little too seriously.
Another #FF for @zero_humor_here. His randomness makes me smile daily! Thanks for the ToTD, by the way! :)
You should follow @cool_jesse because he's going to look really pretty in a wedding dress when we get married. #FF
I don't know what a spirit animal is, but by the looks of things, I might have eaten mine. And yours, too.
If you're smart enough to take the Ambien when you go to sleep instead of after four hours of tossing and turning, fuck right on off.
If it weren't for my cats throwing up every five minutes, my knees would never experience carpet burn.
Thank you to @hoteats and @notoriouscle for the ToTD! Two cuties who deserve your attention. #FF
If my eyelashes could grow at even half the speed that my nose hairs do, I'd probably have a boyfriend.
That's enough, pregnant women. We all know that you got laid this year, so you can stop showing it off.
If you could watch my life backwards, you'd see a Jenny Craig success story.
I want to do a good vagina tweet, but someone is going to have to tell me what the fuck it's purpose is first.
Will you guys follow @goonumbertwo? I'm holding out hope that he may one day show his tits. Thanks in advance. #FF
I've always been bad at biology.
