I don't get half of the acronyms on here. I'm feeling way too old!

Be yourself. Everyday. All day. Other people's expectations are their baggage, not yours.

Hey asshole- Stick shift means I can slow down with no brake lights. How's that steering wheel taste?

Wanted a cowboy, got a rodeo clown. Not the same thing.

Just figured out that "how stupid do you think I am?" is the guy version of "do I look fat in this?"

The smell of coffee in the morning, it smells like civilization.

Fuck me. I just opened the washing machine & my white towels just magically turned pink! I should start today all over.

I wanted to grow up to be a nice person. But I'm surrounded by such stupidity that was impossible.

Your kinks & quirks,
Your ink & scars,
Are the roadmap
For who you are.

Own them don't hide from them.

It's so hot I'm searching Netflix for movies with snow scenes!

I may not always say the 'right' thing. But I aim for the truth each & every time. Somedays I just miss.

Twitter is a symphony: some of us out of tune, some have their own rhythm, together we make beautiful music.

Fuck me I can't even feel my face I'm so loaded. I'm gonna go do really dirty things after I sign out.

I've found it is possible to love both the sinner & the sin.

I'm so happy to be out of my bra, I'm pretty sure to have hard nipples for hours.

A thousand times Goodnight.
A thousand times the worse to want thy light.

And so my tweeps- until tomorrow.

My ex-hubby used to call me 'crack-baby' as an endearment. Could be the reason he's ex. That or the fact he sucked a mean cock. Either way.

Yes, thank you. I'll take what's Behind The Green Door.

Some people I love. Some people I would cheerfully gut with a dull spoon. Same smile either way.

Really think 50 Shades is all that exciting? Try de Sade's Justine.

You'll thank me when you pick your jaw up off the floor.