Okay - Only 74 more followers until I hit 100!!! Woo hoo!!!

If you are a 50-something white woman, you are not allowed to "give a shout out" to anyone.

@charliepantzz Also, Metallica's sung as Elmer Fudd, "Foweveah twusting who we awe, No, nuhfing else mattews"

Dear guy at the dmv talking on an iphone and carrying a man bag; wearing white linen pants without underwear is a bad idea.

OMG - Did you hear the news? Derek Jeter was hit-less in his return from the DL!!!

okay - I have managed to waste two hours at work for far... Only 7 more to go!

After 10 years, my husband finally understands that 3am sex is more likely with sexy kisses on my neck than a boner in my back.

I like politics like I like dicks: Pretty much down the middle but leaning slightly to the left.

Instead of wearing a horribly uncomfortable bra, I am just going to have someone stand behind me, arms in front, holding my boobs all day.

I work all morning on ridding myself of a headache just to have it brought back in one fell swoop by my boss who thinks Female IT=secretary.

So what kind of grab bag do we draw from when googling "Weiner Photos"? Do you get anyone's weiner? Anthony Weiner's face? His weiner?

Do you ever bump into a coworker as they are exiting the restroom and see that, "Do they know I just pooped" look on their face?

@molly_kats Watch the film "Dolphin Cove" to see how they get their animals... You won't want to go to SeaWorld after that.

Hey, everyone! #donatebonemarrow for #alicebucketlist http://alicepyne.blogspot.com/

@charliepantzz I am guessing you set your bong in there.

Thanks to @cfishing and @popgondola for the #FF. I am fairly sure they are not harmful to others.

@olnerdybastard http://t.co/dXYp4A5

There's nothing quite like being force-fed slobbery cereal puffs by your one year old.

Had I been the judge in the Casey Anthony trial, I would have at least given the jury the option of finding her "A Really Shitty Person".

@olnerdybastard Drinking and manic depression are a bad combination.