When you're asked what your weaknesses are at a job interview, look lovingly into their eyes, place your hands on theirs and say: "You".

What Games of Thrones character are you? pic.twitter.com/UoFigcSnao

When meeting your girlfriend's mum for the 1st time always push her over to see what your girlfriend's balance will be like when she's older

The average person swallows ten spiders and three horses a year without realising.

Jurassic Park is basically a film about an under-staffed IT department.

The Queen refers to coins and banknotes as 'selfies'.

Jurassic Park is basically a film about an under-staffed IT department.

Due to an autocorrect cock-up, my time machine only lets me travel into the furniture.

So few people now buy CD singles that Scotch have managed to score a Top 10 hit with 'Laser Lens Cleaner'.

Our tips to DEFINITELY make a job interview go well: pic.twitter.com/4rTIRztgaa

The term 'snowman' is considered quite offensive. They now prefer the term 'people of frozen precipitation'.

When meeting your girlfriend's mum for the 1st time always push her over to see what your girlfriend's balance will be like when she's older

Another chance to find out: Which Game of Thrones character are YOU? pic.twitter.com/UoFigcSnao

Some owls can turn their heads 360 degrees. Others use a bayonet fitting. Always check the fitting & wattage when replacing your owl's head.

Think of a number. Now think of it wearing a little cape. Aww.

When on a date, ask questions to show you're interested in THEM: What's their mother's maiden name? What's their favourite four-digit code?

If you wake up next to a dinosaur but can still get WiFi, then it's the DINOSAUR who time travelled, not you.

See a squirrel, pick it up. All day long you'll have a squirrel.

Chillingly, we are now using your Instagram photos in our ads:  http://twitpic.com/bn1gv0 

If you took all the owls in the world and laid them end to end, they'd be furious.