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How come you can name your son Christian and that's cool but when I name both my sons Jew I'm somehow the asshole?
I've stopped describing myself as "pro choice" and started using the word "abortionista."
If you're not listening to @tvsandydaly's podcast on @earwolf, you are losing. http://www.earwolf.com/show/the-andy-daly-podcast-pilot-project/ … pic.twitter.com/Ie0UUEKVMu
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Strawberries, boiled down and mixed with pectin and sugar... That shit's my JAM.
Teaching my older son that "snitches get kisses."
OH but when I murder a cop then suddenly I'M the asshole?
Keurig should change their slogan to "Watch a sad robot struggle to pee into a paper cup."
I own 10,000 cats but I'm not technically crazy.
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