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When someone says "can I ask you a question?" You can save time by telling them, "it's at the top of the vagina."
Superheroes were born in the minds of those desperate to be rescued.
This vodka tastes like desperation or depression, maybe disaster? I don't know anymore.
Stop being the martyr, and learn to be the fucking cavalry.
You know you're in trouble when my urge to kiss you outweighs my urge to kill you in cold blood.
Best part of working at the hospital, Sexy ass residents.. Best part of working graveyard, dark abandoned stairwells.
I'm cute as fuck! Deal with it.
Every night, just as I'm falling asleep, a voice whispers sweetly in my ear "show us your Tits!"
I feel like death swallowed me, choked like a pussy, spit me out and then pissed on me. So death is R. Kelly guys in case you didn't know.
Feelings: the real kissing disease.
What would I do without you?! Him, probably.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, or Fuck me if I'm right, either way there should be some fucking going on here.
I have perfected the art of talking while swallowing, ask my exes, your girlfriend, the priest, my dad, and the lady at applebees.
Eating a hot pocket, in case you guys were wondering about my stance on buttstuff later tonight.
Marriage is not just about a man and a woman, It's about any two people who love eachother, and want to ruin to rest of eachothers lives.
The worst part wasn't the betrayal, or the downright abuse, the worst part is you attached a memory to every song I ever loved. That hurts.
Why are you still wishing on that same old star? Dream a new dream, dipshit.
Thank god for pooping, otherwise I'd have never learned how to read.
Riceburners would be jealous of my muthafuckin drifting skills, cause winter, and fishtailing.
Jesus love me this I know, because the creepy homeless man on the corner told me so, then asked me for money for meth and beer.
My excuse is that I'm young. Ashlee with two e's, crazy, fun loving, psycho-bitch. tattoos and piercings appreciated. cocky, arrogant, slutnugget. Nurse.