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If I can't log in to Instagram then that means I'm probably spam right?
I'm going to start saying "hashtag" in front of everything and see if it takes off.
There are good people, bad people & people who bash your car door with their shopping cart, I don't know what category those people are in.
I guess those kids who buried some kittens and mowed over their heads years ago are all grown up & have their own kittens & Twitter accounts
Vaginas are a bit like like new homes in the way that it's pretty hard to find one still nestled in some beautiful bush.
David Koch is probably more likeable now he has dementia but gee that came on quickly didn't it.
I mean it is kinda misleading but I'll let you guys discuss.
If you haven't actually been on the show Survivor & instead you're a cancer survivor should you be allowed to put it in your bio?
I'll be thinking of you
I just hope everyone reached their goals on Twitter this week, if not chin up guys there's always next week :)
If Australia had relaxed gun laws I wouldn't have even had to pay for those avocados, am I right Americans!
Na me either
Ever buy expensive avocados, find out they're all rotten inside then look at your receipt & realise that's why you rang them up as carrots?
It's pretty hard to recognise a movie star just by looking at the back of their head unless it's Ben Affleck.
Weird how a toddler can drown in 3 inches of water but that's not enough to cover Grandma's corns.
Not everyone finds the perfect partner in life but some people find the perfect hairstyle & keep it forever.
Tattoos are just scars with stories about what's going to happen in the future.
Insurance companies killed the Good Samaritan but gave a whole lot of out of work actors jobs.
Begin Again might have been really good after the beginning with Keira Knightley singing but now no one will ever know.
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