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I bet even Australians get Daniel Johns & Ian Thorpe mixed up.
Tail on the donkey.
If I was a world famous runner with no legs I'd shoot anyone I wanted to because fuck people & their preconceived ideas of murder & running.
No one can enjoy themselves at the Playboy Mansion because Hugh demands that House of Fun is played 24hrs a day at full volume, it's madness
Now that twitter has finally turned mainstream everyone can go back to watching television again.
Paper Towns seems just like The Goonies but instead of looking for treasure they're looking for Cara Delevingne.
If you get caught on a train without a ticket they only let you off if you say you were playing Insurgent.
The only good thing about The Affair was Pacey. I was like, Pacey, what are you doing in this grown up show?
China builds world's biggest wall! Not to be outdone Australia builds world's biggest fence because fuck those Chinese & fuck those rabbits.
Mickey Rourke movies should all have subtitles because I can't hear a thing over his nose breathing, & who's that guy playing Mickey Rourke?
Love at first sight must be like when I read about a disease I've never heard of & suddenly I know I must have it.
Accidentally sandblasted half the flesh off your co-worker?
Call it a Final Destination Restoration & you can both laugh it off.
You shouldn't be allowed to breast feed in a restaurant unless it's BYO.
Never trust a person wearing animal skins to drive your car, I'll explain later.
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