• Howdy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    I never know if it's smorgasbord or smorgasborg but either way I bet those Star Trek movies have great catering.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    CanadianCheriwrongchanceTorriableHormonellapreawsaurusGreenSmoke_lipsaahoyGhetto_Trophy
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Lynsm7NudeCyclistVicProbablyBarryCraini_like_bugsAvatar_unknown_48
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    The touchscreen on your phone isn't working properly so I had to keep licking my finger but thanks for letting me use it anyway.

    • 72
    • FAVS
    wrongchanceTorriableHormonellaGreenSmoke_BethsButtGoogirlsmileseTHEgoddessTinkerbell_
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    TorriableMaritta_Lswollenvoicekeepitrealmom5oulhealerDouchekevinSnotgunWULFDEAN
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    You have to admire those people who stab their partner rather than poison them slowly, but the people who just divorce instead probably win.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    wrongchanceTorriableHormonellaGreenSmoke_ariinsslolimdrunktan_treTHEgoddess
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    BonJovi32FeenohmenalEl_MenawiiKawaii_AllaaAhmed_5_Cs_5oulhealerDouchekevin
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Got a flat tyre but some asshole has stolen the air hose from the Caltex again? Call the PSI Crime Team.

    • 56
    • FAVS
    GreenSmoke_Tinkerbell_PolymorphicOneinikoblueEric_the_BoldOutOfLeftField_VirgoSherryuncybillized
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    5oulhealerDouchekevinswollenvoiceMsPhantasticalWULFDEANAB_Owl1HappytwitAvatar_unknown_48
  • Aspersioncast
     
    ass cast @Aspersioncast

    @vicprobably I thought Ashley Madison would have double Ds.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    wrongchanceKatarinaKrizEriktherockstarVicProbably
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    How about an Ashley Maddison & Martin for horny bald guys who want to treated by real doctors, real sexy doctors.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    OutOfLeftField_VirgoSherrypickledslutdrh2gfacciabellaKatarinaKrizjkrambleseTHEgoddess
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Bought one of those Jamie Durie garden hoses & it just dribbles everywhere, I didn't expect that it's not like it's from Jamie Oliver.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    OutOfLeftField_VirgoSherryMiniMeWeeGuy_taroism_MmeNaztydrh2gfacciabellaKatarinaKriz
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    JaneDozey
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    It's pretty obnoxious to do a burnout right in front of someone unless you're at a car show, then it's like Awww yeah bro great car show.

    • 55
    • FAVS
    PolymorphicOnebiakabutukaOutOfLeftField_iammustikHipyetidrh2gEriktherockstarfacciabella
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    HipyetiDanny_McH2OInsideThisSkinBlarebareAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Does anyone know if the Americans finished all their Halloween candy yet?

    • 89
    • FAVS
    TattooedMiseryk_udivaPolymorphicOneinikoblueBDubliciousOutOfLeftField_KamaroPayneMiniMeWeeGuy
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    drh2gTheSweetestD_LaurenDowell_Maui_Speakssara_ashlynn2tickytackyKatarinaKrizNyxxisnite
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    But if you really want to mess with her only say it about one of them.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    PolymorphicOneinikoblueOutOfLeftField_1kueldad1Happytwit_JESSIEJAYNEdrh2gfacciabella
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    _theigirlthetobbiertsredpawn3mohiclaireAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Annoy your wife by saying “wow” every time a chick gets out of the limo on The Bachelor.

    • 121
    • FAVS
    tan_trk_udivaEric_the_BoldinikoblueBDubliciousOutOfLeftField_bleustreakdrdbg
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    ninjamoose1015oulhealer1kueldadHipyetiTFMartin2011lipsaahoy_theigirlthetobbierts
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Maybe Optus hate those shitty Josh Thomas ads as much as we do but that guy locked them into a 2yr contract.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    OutOfLeftField_drh2gfacciabellaKatarinaKrizCopulatermanjkrambleseTHEgoddessSuMacDan
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    DevilledCupcakeVicProbablyAvatar_unknown_48
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Tonight we're finally going set alight the old tractor tyre in my mate's backyard, this is huge we've been talking about it all year.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    bakerygurlOutOfLeftField_KamaroPaynedrh2gfacciabellaKatarinaKrizjkramblesnomes_u
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    bakerygurlAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Guy with tractor for hire, please supply tractor.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    OutOfLeftField_drh2gredpawn3facciabellaKatarinaKrizeTHEgoddessSuMacDanTorriable
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Cocaine is like Bakers Delight bread, it's good for about 3 hours & then everything gets crusty.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    OutOfLeftField_KamaroPayneCruelMeigadrh2gfacciabellaKatarinaKrizTheFlyInTheRoomeTHEgoddess
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    TheFlyInTheRoomInsideThisSkinLynsm7no_one_here__slyoung5lipsaahoyTorriableadamjest
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Wow Twitter is so quiet you could hear a plane drop but maybe not disappear that probably doesn't make any noise.

    • 76
    • FAVS
    moonbabi9k_udivaFeenohmenalBDubliciousOutOfLeftField_CruelMeigadrh2gfacciabella
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    TattooedMiseryTorriablemahatmatweeterCindyNoPantsveemysterTwiterHeroCopulatermanAvatar_unknown_48
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    Flying is statistically safer than driving but you can't compare them because not many motor vehicle accidents involve the car disappearing.

    • 136
    • FAVS
    moonbabi9FeenohmenalinikoblueMidgetsparBDubliciousfindmydollsKamaroPayneCruelMeiga
    • 63
    • RETWEETS
    TattooedMiserydugoibBDubliciousApocryphaNowHomaryaShaikGhardharLittlest_SloboBadMikeyBad
  • Aspersioncast
     
    ass cast @Aspersioncast

    @gneicco I like your plan, post the terrible ones now & start fresh next year.

    • 1
    • FAV
    gneicco
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    gneicco
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    My girlfriend thinks anyone I talk to on the internet is a psycho who wants to have the sex with me, she's only half right.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    k_udivacontradictegoshitstevensayssCharmandBrainsAnnaLougardsmartcookie1971HotMildHoex3ShANNA
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    rayrayski99CharmandBrainsEric_the_BoldSpiritofDustmic_mac_moecarlyme23SheDoneGoodKatarinaKriz
  • Aspersioncast
      ass cast @Aspersioncast

    What if I do have chronic back pain but I don't know it because I'm always stoned, what then doctor?

    • 63
    • FAVS
    k_udivaPhxMellyEric_the_BoldinikoblueBDubliciousKamaroPayneCruelMeigadrh2g
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Ghetto_Trophyskullpuppy11TorriableAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
@Aspersioncast

@Aspersioncast

here on account of all the tweets

Gift_128x128

Like @Aspersioncast’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.

Gift them Pro!