@sweetmissashley I call it the Got Laid Parade!

I require a glass of wine, a kiss on the face, and someone telling me everything's going to be cool.

The definition of discomfort: accidentally spraying hairspray into your mouth

Regardless of your religion, it should be a universal goal for women to be safe and have access to health resources.

Life's too short to eat low quality hummus.

Gotta get that beauty sleep so I can wake up tomorrow and face the day like the majestic unicorn that I am. #SelfPepTalk

My oven is full of pork chops. #Domesticity pic.twitter.com/VBOSqc6aVs

I need a getaway. For a night or a weekend or anything, I need a change of scenery.

I'm so tired today. I don't want to be a person. I want to be a burrito.

Sometimes I ask myself why I live here, then I remember my xylophonist neighbour & sweet lesbian couple who always lend me their corkscrew.

If you love your city enough, sometimes it loves you back,

I don't mess around when it comes to breakfast.  http://instagram.com/p/ZnbCKWIZsc/ 

This is "dramatically meet your lover on the sidewalk in a white nightgown and kiss passionately until you're drenched" weather.

Yes, these are all things that describe the female experience. Women, right? Loveable idiots! pic.twitter.com/OHZLL3gKk2

Bouts all over tonight! Good luck all!
@ktownderbygirls @capcityrollers @bordercitybrawl @yhzrollerderby @muddyriverderby @royalcityroller

I'm a simple gal. I just want a pedicure, a new house plant, and a gin-fuelled underwear dance party for two.

My feet hurt from going dancing two nights in a row! I want to trade my heels for hiking boots & get outside today!

I was not keen on dragging my carcass out of bed this morning.

I want snuggles and fish and chips with hotsauce and yeah I'm really needy right now.

I could probably benefit from a sugar daddy.