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And then suddenly you find yourself one day berating toast for it's inability to be a sandwich.
The warm air and bright landscape has aroused in me a sense of well being and hope. I'm retreating to the basement until it passes.
I love you so much that I'm willing to overlook the two black chasms in the center of your face that lead to a dank labyrinth of mucus.
Never have I looked so deep and confusedly into someone's eyes as when I've been offered a rice cake.
The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away and The Lord being occasionally overwhelmed will lose track and overlook you altogether.
I whisper "I just want to be friends" into the darkness of a summer night as nameless bugs feel up my calf muscles.
In my absence I've completely forgotten everything about Twitter except for that bit where you're constrained by a certain number of charact
Don't encourage anyone to do anything. Traffic is already bad.
Meaningful moments and life lessons will be added in post-production.
What if lascivious facial ticks were currency?
The withdrawal symptoms I'm experiencing from coming off antidepressants are identical to the symptoms of being in Wal-Mart.
I think I'd be even more depressed if there were only two dimensions.
With assessment questions like "Does a month have 80 days?" I'm pretty sure I have this job in the bag and that it pays in chewing tobacco.
I've referred to my genitals as "Kindling" for so long I no longer know how to converse with settlers from the 1700's.
How do you tell someone that the cake they made tastes like the onset of a minor seizure in a positive way?
I'm unwilling to do much for quite a lot.
His crimson ocular muscles bulged as he exclaimed, "You ain't gonna stuff me in one of them sky boats!"
I'm amazed at how frequently I have to defend logic when talking with my mother.
Chartreuse is the color of my true loves hair.