@AuntMarvel's (Jerilyn Hassell Pool) most faved Tweets...
I really enjoy yelling at the kids to turn the music down while I shake my fist. Right up until the momentum of my arm flab knocks me over.
In July, my 16 mo old baby broke her leg. Last week, I got an letter from our insurance co asking for proof it wasn't an on-the-job injury.
The baby loves my leopard nightgown with hot pink trim. This does not bode well for her future, but explains the fisher price stripper pole.
Turns out, when the officer asks why you're not wearing a seatbelt, pretending to have T Rex arms is only hilarious to you.
To-dos for 20yr HS reunion next month:
1 Marry George Clooney
2 Lose 425 pounds
3 Learn to be cool
4 Become billionaire
5 Pedicure
1 Marry George Clooney
2 Lose 425 pounds
3 Learn to be cool
4 Become billionaire
5 Pedicure
Body glitter.
Hot pink feather boa.
Macrame bodysuit.
The roofers are back to work outside my bedroom window and this time, I'm ready.
Hot pink feather boa.
Macrame bodysuit.
The roofers are back to work outside my bedroom window and this time, I'm ready.
When I figure out which of my kids taught the baby to laugh and high five every time she farts, they're getting a raise in their allowance.
Looking at old photos. Me: "I wish I was still that pretty." 15yo: "Uh...you could be...if you tried...like with regular showers and pants."
Today my baby rested her forehead on mine, patted my cheek and said "friends."
And then my cold, dead, useless ovaries exploded.
And then my cold, dead, useless ovaries exploded.
Facebook: "Find out how sexy you are today!"
Thanks Facebook, but my baggy pants, ponytail and soup burps have this one covered.
Thanks Facebook, but my baggy pants, ponytail and soup burps have this one covered.
Dora: "Where is the Hidden Tunnel?"
Diego: "Can *you* see the Hidden Tunnel?"
Daughter: "I want to beat them both with the Obvious Stick."
Diego: "Can *you* see the Hidden Tunnel?"
Daughter: "I want to beat them both with the Obvious Stick."
Daughter: "I need new pants." Me: "I just bought you new pants." D: "And I prayed the knees right out of them."
Power is back on. Perhaps I was a bit hasty in chopping up the furniture and burning it in the living room. Also, eating one of the dogs.
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