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Pilot: Emergency! Everyone please put on oxygen mask *everyone do it* Pilot: haha just kidding the oxygen is my farts *everyone laugh*
u sign my autograph book + close it. By the time u read the cover (Idiots Who I Have Wrestled) Im already doing a jumpkick from the top rope
@donglord69 WHITEN YOUR TEETH! ADD MORE TEETH FOR A MORE BRILLIANT SMILE! BLIND THE WORLD WITH THE GLOW, CONSUME THE BLIND, TAKE THEIR TEETH
#BritishHobbies Poppin up to the Vicar's down to Martlesham Heath, gawpin at birds down the uni, Shouting Rather Loudly at a Paki Bloke
gotta make a left turn. guess i should swing my car way the fuck over the the right first, because life is a cartoon + that is how cars work
If we're both rockin jorts, but yours are better, I'll shake your hand and congratulate you. Thats just good Jortsmanship.
In a green/pink checkered bekishe and an oversized gold yarmulke, The Matzah Man Rabbi Savage flexes atop the turnbuckle. "Oiiiiii Yeahhh!"
I was just wandering around my apt. in jorts and no shirt, eating a pickle and talking to my cat and i realized i'm the coolest fuckin dude
#GeekPrideDay let's experience some social isolation in middle school and spend the rest of our lives defining ourselves by our purchases
in 6th grade I pretended my underwear was buggin me and I pulled a spare set of briefs out of my pants. No laughs. No Hi Fives. Philistines
Wonder what happened 2 'cool' stoners from HS? *points at gravestone**stoner ollies over it + smokes bong* they r still cool dude weed owns
@jonny_wags jonny wags? yea i was like his 250th follower or something *cleans black frame glasses on flannel shirt* hes cool i guess
Come 2 Marx. Lets get this party Sartred. Nietzsche to see if u Kant Russell up some beers. Adorno if its a busy Schopenhauer. Just hurry!
@jonny_swags http://t.co/6veisOE1 this is my favorite pic of the free market regulating itself
#ReasonsYouCantFindAMan your kickflips are hella sloppy and you push mongo. Step up your kickflip game, ladies!
What will you say when your grandkids ask "where were you when Bruce Dackler?" #BruceDackler
Crime Tip: If you steal the crystal every cop keeps under his hat, you get to ask him a riddle. If gets it wrong, you get to play w his gun
Legendary Shitbird
