When I lose a follower, I not only lose a friend I lose trunk space.

Now where did I put that shovel.

My boyfriend keeps threatening me, he says he's going to take me to church but I'm not fond of bursting into flames.

Happy Mothers Day!

Time to go to the zoo and visit my mom. Still debating whether to get her peanuts or bananas. What do you think?

Spanish lesson #4- El gato me robo los huevos.
~Could you pass the salt.

Dear Oklahoma,
It was nice visiting u but I had to go. Ur flat land & leafless trees were depressing me. I like my states curvy like Cali.

Ever been in a room that is so quiet you just wanna fart to break the silence?
Just me, ok.

Once a year I get free lunch on Veterans Day & all I had to do was give my body, soul, & sanity to the government for a few years #cheated

Every time I lose a follower I clip an angels wings.

In preparation for Cinco de Mayo I will be teaching you all some Spanish.
1st lesson - Otra cerveza puto
May I have another beer sir.

Lost another follower, it's just so sad when they lead me to this *grabs shovel, duct tape, & tarp* but they leave me no choice.

The only time I get religious is when im in the vanpool and it's the old dude's week to drive. I don't think he can see thru his eyebrows.

Damn, I think my parents just got me drunk. They seem to think its funny.

#ff Slinky aficionados @jimritchie16 @honeywhatsthis @ecorno @tpurvis06 @busybeeblogger @the_moonface @fsusteve @johnanaylor @rachael_hill

@whocuppedmycake Awe *blush* You & @texas__red are spectacular people & we really enjoyed meeting both of you.

Here is @nathantorres & @texas__red http://twitpic.com/59wige

#ff cuz they keep me entertained during my 1hr telecons @ittollsforyou @ecorno @tpurvis06 @imaflyonthewall @darthpayne @_kennyvee_

For free hugs & fondling #ff @insult_bird @tpurvis06 @ecorno @boston_the_dog @the_moonface @_kennyvee_ @damienps @simplyinkta2s @jfearsome

In celebration of Osama Bin Laden's death I am going to finish off this bottle if tequila and dance around the house in my underwear.

#FF @nathantorres @whocuppedmycake @skyjipsy @jstcallmefrank @texas_red

Will tweet for booze.