Sunsets take pictures of ME.

I'm not lost yet, but slowly slipping away. Heels digging in, holding on tight.

I have no patience but I can deep throat a banana. ~ Me on virtues

Fuck a hug - I need 8 inches and a ball gag.

Having big boobs lets me get away with having a big mouth.

Wanna be mine forever? Let me mount you.....on a wall.

Kids are MMA fighting this morning. I'm just watching & waiting for someone to get knocked out cause really I have nothing better to do.

Put some whiskey in my coffee because it's Ireland somewhere.

I just wanna lay in bed with twitter all day.

When it comes to shoes & penises my mantra is 'Squeeze it until it fits'.

I dont think the Band Perry chick realizes what a hassle it would be for her loved ones to "sink" her bloated dead body in the river at dawn

Dad: You don't see Rubix Cubes anymore.
Me: Yeah people don't like feeling stupid.

When I go out drinking I never let trouble find me...I'm always actively seeking it out so it happens on my terms.

I'll subtweet anyone. I don't care. Fuck, I'll subtweet my mother if I feel like it.

I do some wrong things right.

I don't pander. I whore myself out.

HEy guys. Long time no Post. Ho hum day for mE. Lazy Day Here On the Socal coasT. anywAy. Going to Eat A Taco, MAybe CelerY with Salt.

Guys, if you're gonna get some, don't ruin the moment by opening your trap and saying something stupid. That's my PSA for the day.

Thanks a lot England! I just ruined a perfectly good pair of pants thinking I had forgotten Mother's Day.

i admit i am sitting in the kitchen listening to trace adkins, depeche mode, the cure and some jpop... yes i am odd