H.T. 4) There's something wrong w/ our society when u ask an 8 yr old dressed like a whore what she is & her response is "I'm a cougar...

Now the waiting begins. Going to take a shower and see if Mr. Sailor wants to navigate certain oceans this evening. Not thinking so though.

To be blunt, masturbating in the middle of the day is 2nd only to Twitter in killing productivity. Here I am following one w/ the other.

"No, thank YOU for having the loudest garbage trucks known to man. I really didn't need that extra hour of sleep I was aiming for."

I know it's wicked bad for my punching bag, but I just went to town on it with my baseball bat, and I feel oh so much better :D

I wish sexual orientation really WAS a simple choice. Cause today, I would choose to be asexual.

Excellent, I just offended the hell out of both my super left and right wing friends on Facebook. My work there is done.

Today, there will be champagne as I celebrate my continuing freedom. :D

There's nothing passive about my aggression ;)

#thankstotwitter I've become even more efficient at being inefficient when I'm supposed to be accomplishing THINGS...

Really? About to run out to the store, but I realized I just got sucked into a vacuum commercial. Did u catch that ;)

If I don't have anything nice to say I won't say anything at all. But god I want to. Must. Bite. Tongue. Even. If. It. Bleeds. Men = 'Tards.

It's official, my punching bag has officially replaced all other workout items as my favorite. I actually WANT to do this every day.

Hello, my name is Miss Pissy Pants. I got my name from my friends treating me like a doormat & fucking up all my plans & pissing me off.

How bad is it that we can't even keep Happy Veterans Day as a trending topic all day? Really? For one day they can't be priority one?

The ethics code of Chase Bank, #worldsthinnestbooks

OMG ITS RAINING!!! Quick, slam on ur brakes, then ur gas, now the brakes again! Keep 'em guessing and CHP busy. Morons.

I'm afraid I'm developing a fetish for men that write well. It's sexy. Words are sexy. Being smart is sexy. Just putting it out there.

Twitter: An excuse for adults to act like they're in High School still.

P.T. 3) I have, nor will ever happily make "my fine ass a pillow" for anyone who talks like that. 4) Education. Keep getting one.