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I'm looking at the cheap-ass candy my wife got and wondering how I'm going to get the egg off my house.
#BestThingsAboutBeingSingle forearm strength. -At least in one arm.
You can't smile like a doughnut. #ReasonsWeCantBeTogether
The least my wife could've done before taking the kid and dog away for 3 days would've been to fill the fridge w/ beer. Bullshit.
Plus, trying to rectify the underuse of the word "douchebag" in the software industry is dangerous business.
Found it necessary to create a "personal" Twitter account before the little voice in my head gets me fired.