Brb, going on a mission xo

If your engagement doesn't get at LEAST 200 likes on Facebook, seriously just call it off. Not even worth it anymore.

I'm not proud of my schoolgirl reaction that occurs when Taylor Swift comes on the radio, but I will admit that it happens.

OH MY GOSH I CAN'T WAIT TO BE ENGAGED so when we decide stuff I can say "Let the ring-bearer decide" JUST LIKE IN LORD OF THE RINGS

Sometimes I like to dress up nice and then go walk around Wal-Mart and pretend these people are my peasants and serfs.

It's like Christmas morning but at night. Except you're even happier. And you say bad words. That's the USU-BYU game. #OccupyTheSpectrum

Hope my parents are ready for getting letters back from "Elder Kobe Bryant" or "Elder Frodo Baggins"

Unless your petition is to get Justin Timberlake making music again feel free to get it the f*** out of my face.

I hope I can someday be as proud of something as local news stations are of owning a helicopter.

If Josh Barnett had been born outside of Utah he'd have been named Josh Bammett.

This means a couple of frat boys are back there roasting it. http://t.co/7Oah4IL9

People need to quit letting me mow their lawn #DeathlyHallows http://t.co/0XYD2kAq

@travis_chambers OBAMA + GREASE 2 = A very disappointing family movie night at the White House

If they were giving out copies of Pokemon Gold instead of Gold Medals you'd see me shatter Phelps' weak records by like 10 seconds.

"The longer the tie, the cooler the guy" - Deacons

I wish Chik-Fil-A would just let me go ahead and marry Ryan Lochte already :( :( :( :( :(

I don't go to Chik-Fil-A not because of politics. I don't go to Chik-Fil-A because it's crappy overpriced chicken.

Watching me be handed a crying wet baby is like watching me try to accept a compliment.

I'm all for getting Kony stopped. I am, however, against the destruction of public property.

.@mileycyrus heard you got a haircut or something? we should catch up, it's been a while. dm me for deets.