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We live in a world where Neil Patrick Harris is considered Gay Justin Timberlake when really Justin Timberlake is Tacky Neil Patrick Harris.
Apple announces new iOS with "Audio-only FaceTime calls." or Apple announces phone calls.
Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her.
Blake Shelton is a classless jerk for talking smack against our @joeyguerra How rude of him!
Neighbor kid came over, seemed pretty upset. He asked what "irreconcilable differences" meant. I said, "It means it's all your fault."
Can someone just put together all the Amanda Bynes pics/videos with Sarah McLachlan in the background so we can get her some help.
The original Karate Kid is currently the same age as Mr. Miyagi was in the movie, 51. My youth just got crane kicked in the bean bag.
RIP western civilization. @buzzfeed: Taco Bell is testing waffle tacos in Southern California http://foodbeast.com/content/2013/05/10/taco-bell-waffle-taco-spotted-in-southern-californa/#.UZEq9SsjpJH … pic.twitter.com/2pvepqNfeH
The first time you hold your newborn baby must feel exactly like going to a bar the next morning and finding your lost debit card.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is currently standing in front of a mirror wearing a black blazer and glasses practicing her "found guilty" face.
It's funny how we all just accepted the song 'Black Velvet' as if it actually made any fucking sense.
Bill has the *best* ideas. :D RT "@billmc7: Step 1 - Create a Facebook event called "Shut The Fuck Up." Step 2 - Invite everyone to it."
Dear whores turned soccer moms,
I'm not praying for your kid who has the sniffles and wet farts, so stop making that your Facebook status.
CNN: Waldo, Carmen San Diego, the beef from the 80's, all discovered in Al Capone's vault.
"I shouldn't say this on TV..." is a good way to start a sentence on CNN
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