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Public appeals to logic or self-interest are rarely as effective as a celebrity endorsement.
Sin if you must, but never wait in line or jump through hoops for the privilege of doing it.
Being the oldest person in the world may sound cool until you realize there's a younger competitor ready take your place in a few days.
Drug Primer —
Oxytocin: It's complicated.
Oxymoron: Someone who takes Oxycontin without a doctor's prescription.
Only bald people are allowed to tell bald people jokes. I could take advantage of that ethnic exemption. I just don't happen to have any.
Religion is the opiate of the masses but OxyContin is a big one too.
On My Bucket List: Take leave of my senses.
On My Bucket List: Pivot from racist, misogynistic rants to a measured presidential demeanor with well-thought-out policy positions.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger unless it cripples you for life.
Regret is the story of misspent resources, the retroactive realization you've squandered your limited capital on unproductive paths.
Prices are not usually set by rational market forces but by what the stupidest buyers are willing to pay. Others simply don't buy.
Unconditional love is an invitation to unrestrained abuse.
Golden retrievers make poor guard dogs. If burglars break in, the dog will welcome them warmly and tell them where the jewels are.
On My Bucket List: Establish a complex network of offshore shell companies to hide my ill-gotten wealth.
The purpose of a conspiracy theory is to free you of blame for your own bad choices.
I'm glad I was born a mammal. Mammal babies have it easy. Mom protects them and lets them play. Reptiles are like, "You're on your own kid!"
Wisdom from the Dalai Lama's evil twin. Your antidote to platitudes. Author. Ex Area 51 guy. Travel: @Peripatetia - More at URL...
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