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Passive-Aggressive Thanksgiving Prayer: Dear Lord, we humbly thank you for everything we have, even though you could have sent more.
Calling it "Soylent" while denying it has anything to do with Soylent Green has to be the most brilliant marketing strategy ever.
It is silly to criticize movies for being factually inaccurate. All fiction, by definition, is something that couldn't happen in real life.
Maybe they should just have a book called Intelligence For Dummies™. Then they wouldn't need all those other For Dummies™ books.
Intelligence is a deliberate decision to aggressively explore the world, learn from your mistakes and limit your exposure to stupid people.
Two Priuses had a terrible accident in front of Whole Foods. You should have seen the carbon emissions!
If it's Santa Claus and he's dressed in red going "Ho! Ho! Ho!" is it still morbid obesity?
It is possible to be both smart and stupid at the same time: smart in pursuit of your goals, stupid in your choice of them.
When Jack and Jill went up the hill, they both came down with serious injuries that changed their lives forever.... https://www.facebook.com/BadDalaiLama/posts/10204566173246647 …
God's cleverest gift to man was the placebo effect. After that, He could take credit for everything without doing anything at all.
Jack Spratt could eat no fat; his wife could eat no lean. She died early of coronary disease. He remarried and joined a vegan cooperative.
Nursery rhyme fraud! Jack and Jill would never go up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Real wells are close to the water table, not on hills.
No one is upset as I about the Bing Crosby rape charges. To think, he played a priest in the movies!
The wishbone, like the rabbit's foot, wasn't very lucky for the chicken.
Crime prevention tip: If you are carrying a satchel full of diamonds, no one knows it unless you announce, "Hey, I've got diamonds in here!"
Kickstarter my ass! (Because my ass has a lot of good ideas.)
I wonder if anyone has pried the gun out of Charlton Heston's cold dead hands.
"adult responsibility"=eternal servitude to problems you created.
Wisdom from the Dalai Lama's evil twin. Your antidote to platitudes. Author: 'The Case Against Marriage'. Ex Area 51 guy. See @Peripatetia for travel photos.