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Attention girls (and vice versa): Boys are just girls with balls. If you expect magic from them, you are destined for disappointment.
homemade pie = pie manufactured in an uncontrolled residence by unregulated labor without health department supervision or FDA approval
Addiction in its simplest form (5 minute animation) http://beat.drugabuse.com/addiction-in-its-simplest-form-short-animation/ …
Who could be killing Russian opposition leaders? I bet it's other Russian opposition leaders! That's why we can't let them out of prison.
Spock has died and come back to life before. The same will probably happen again this time.
All compassion is a violation of the Prime Directive.
Tragic news: My Russian mail-order bride left me right after gaining citizenship. Who could've seen it coming?
Research shows that the leading cause of cancer in laboratory animals is researchers doing experiments on them.
résumé romance – a relationship chosen based on how it looks to others, not for its internal functionality
Bad Dalai Lama's doppelgänger wins Best Supporting Actor http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/feb/23/jk-simmons-best-supporting-actor-oscar-whiplash … via @ederguillermo
People spend the first half of their lives charging ahead blindly and the second half wondering what went wrong.
I was injured in an accident while distracted by a brightly lit billboard for a personal injury attorney. Who should I sue?
Telling a lie often puts you in a mushrooming crisis of having to tell more lies to cover the original one.
Dubious psychic convicted of fraud. Standard headline: "He Should Have Seen It Coming."
Grammarian rock group: The Split Infinitives
"I didn't hit anyone!" said Vladimir, still holding the stick he was hitting people with.
My dream reality show: Put Bill O'Reilly, Alec Baldwin, Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen on an island and let them decide who the leader is.
Wisdom from the Dalai Lama's evil twin. Your antidote to platitudes. Author. Ex Area 51 guy. Travel: @Peripatetia - More at URL...
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