Twitter is quite the party. Everyday is like Friday on here.

Blinded my sister with a laser pointer. Please, no one tell her. She hasn't noticed yet.

The honey badger is my idol.

I put makeup on my sister, covered up her ugly.

The cat's tongue has been hanging out all day.

Sometime s I wake up with a cat on my face

Hola! http://t.co/PlY4Jl9O

How did Noah keep the anteaters from eating those two ants.

Bud Light truck just pulled into the country club next door. Gonna watch some drunk golfers try to get the ball in the hole.

Im sexy and i know it cause the people at Burger King are starin at me

I never even heard of Canada before @justinbieber

I wanna go to a school where the mascot is every animal

Giraffes... what noise do they make???

Mac and Cheese, please!!

silly boys lesbians are for girls

My very colorful smile http://t.co/tMErOJ2L

http://t.co/j05cozDh

So many RT's so little time

Why leaf? Why do you blow in the wind?

Went to the iMechanic store only to be told they can't fix my eye.