I'M GOING TO SEE THE ARCTIC MONKEYS!! I'M GOING TO LONDON. I'VE SMOKED TOO MANY MARIJUANAS TO EVEN PROCESS ALL THIS!! #HugsForEveryone

OMG!!! ain't no #tuckitbacktears today!!! i'm still shaking. SO EXCITED!!! #NOMORANDOS

I know you all are as excited as I am. I already have my second. He's the first I'd ask, and he already said yes.

hope some reporter tonight on the 10 o'clock news,when asked "have ya found areas with snow" they reply, "we aint found shit" #SnowBalls

STOP KC PEOPLE. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR ALLERGIES OR THE HEAT. WE LISTENED TO YOU WHINE ALL WINTER. SHUT THE FUCK UP

BREAKING: It might be Monday???.... let me scroll more thru my TL to verify

I saw 2 full sized pickup trucks spin out on the way home. If ya go out, slow and steady win the race. Also take cash for a cab, ya drunks

#showmeyourchair #eastwooding I tire of you constant back-talk. http://t.co/eBLkSXbH

Bout to get my #Workout on..... 16 oz curls #CoorsLight style....don't judge me, they are way heavier than 12 ozers

Lumineers!!!! Bob Dylan and a Talking Heads cover.. OK!! And slow it down with the Man and his Guitar... SWOOOOOON #BUTS1

well @oneofthedingoes just called me, so i guess it's official!!! #Glastonbury #5Tripsin5Days #ABFMB *HAPPY DANCE*

The real crime athletes commit is making many father-less, out of wedlock children, but nobody cries aboot that.

#FreeBaldisPassport *hand pistols* BAZZINGA!!!!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/t6BHZFlD3k

Hearing Mumford and Sons after a tough game, makes me wanna rub gravy on my tater tots. #TITAYS #textsfrombillybutler

i'll be handing out "I won the Trip" Hugs at #BUTS1 so make sure you have your tickets. and #listenlonger

Dear Gentlemen Afraid Of Spiders, I'm sorry, I don't understand. Maybe that because my Mother raised me to respect Pussy, not be one

@freejessejames until one of the Tootle boys bang out a Copper Tank, by hand. I consider you Chopper King

Happy Wednesday Tweeps! love wednesdays! its the day at work, where i rub my penis head on all the other employees drink rims!! #ColdBlooded

Is this real life??

ABSOLUTE PANDAMONIUM!!! Everyone chant.. 2 IN THE PINK, 1 IN THE STINK #Shockers