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Meet on MySpace.
Get married on Facebook.
Loathing on Twitter.
The best way to shut her up is to kiss her.
Listen, you dumb cunt. I'm not interested in cheating on my wife. I'm too busy missing her while I'm outta town. Fuck off.
There is no revolving door to my heart. Are you in or out?
If you want to call yourself a bitch, be my guest... Have at it. But, sexy? You may have a distorted image of yourself.
Ladies, please stop announcing yourself as being sexy... The general public will be the judge of that.
I wasn't raised to break anyones heart,
I was raised to protect mine.
If you don’t start shaking your rump after hearing “Check baby check baby 220.127.116.11”…you’re too young for me.
In my 20s I had sex.
In my 30s I fucked.
In my 40s I destroy you.
I would give my soul to comfort you...
Even if it meant I'd stay dark and cold in this world.
There are no lies in my words-
Oh, I'll fuck you. But, probably not in the way you were hoping.
Body language in men is very easy.
Smiling = horny
Hands constantly moving = horny.
Winking = horny
Alive = horny
Don't worry girls, If you send him naked pictures, at least one of his friends is jerking off to you right now.
Brain got broken.
Repairman has been called.
<-----just performed a BJ on a lollipop at a red light and mouthed the words "fuck my mouth" at the 85 year old man in the car next to me.
That commercial is creepy. Like throw up in my mouth creepy.
That's right I'm a little crazy! Follow me on Instagram BarMaidMish