Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Oh art classes; how I've missed your cigarette stank and pretentious babble.
Be a saint, not a taint.
"Balls to the wall" is a great phrase. Not a great image.
Been DJing for 3 hours and friends keep bringing me beers. I have never had to pee this badly in my life.
Having a panic attack. Can't remember what work is. Terrified of tmrw. Do we drink? Is there music? How do you answer the phone again?
Stop smirking Mr. Concierge. Yes, I'm about to wax my naughty bits, but I bet your lil' gay package is smoother than Howie Mandel's head.
Sitting on my stoop, eating pizza. Homeless man uri-waves at me. That's when he pees and waves at the same time. So friendly.
Who came up with the "Wet n' Wild" makeup brand? Sluts?
"Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?" What a solid email opener. Future husband alert!