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  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women:

    1.) "No" means no

    2.) "Maybe" means no

    3.) "Yes" means maybe

    • 3,057
    • FAVS
    TarverIcuBr00klyn_BeArJay_FrickinLynncigarinSchmelodySaadSaleem99batul_razaTweetsByTheTony
    • 2,271
    • RETWEETS
    TarverIcuJay_FrickinLynncigarinTauheed45Areen_esmerbatul_razaNoT_So_ShareefSapphireBel
    ShaunRightNow1BigMickUnicornBaxI_Mee_Myself_DeanB15TinaMavruslg1davidallendosReverend_ScottThedudishMicheleAKALipsb00bjizzshellyspiveyNoLuckWantedStevie_Talk8bitSportsDocBrown21SupersurlycarpeJosephlvvzz_xLNcCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaCrMul____________thetobbieSchmoodles________WickedSicaJoblessSamuraidannydogmouthMcJizzernutzImHopel3ssTitaniumToplasshipchkkNotJPoMoCannoli________SinD357__________Walmartin2012e_Rodriguez_
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Hold doors open for women, tell them they're beautiful and fuck them like animals. It's simple.

    • 2,011
    • FAVS
    at1stiwasafraidJay_FrickinLynnbeauty4_souljehTheHumanBotmangochow1SapphireBelmorganmcd98P8NT4R
    • 1,100
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnJay_FrickinLynnbeauty4_souljehSapphireBelwentheavaricious1MrTimothy67ateeheeraalan
    Jay_FrickinLynnNikkiJayD________Stevie_TalkKyrieFayeGetCougarizedThe_imBROgliogidget_76Mi_SSbehavedmellimellemeaganbb1________thetobbieAllThingsCLEVETheUnseenMe______AllTheUglyTruthNot_From_TroyTheBaconBoobies__Carter_TCBKittySaysMeeowKaeWhy270InconsteveableGregTheFuckAsianOtherWhite
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    I watch an old man walk his wheelchair bound wife by my house every night, in case any of you motherfuckers needed to know what love is.

    • 1,827
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelNikHimselfClockTowerGirlwenthekwirkyKerriCleofuckinpatraMasterSociopath
    • 1,094
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnCVTBabySamahibrahiimRaneem_MSItsLeaEwenthekwirkyKerrileenasuleiman
    MrsJekyllsHydeSoapyJohnsonb00bjizzsquashguy15bkdcaseydavidtravel1063tylerdarrin______cixelsidgod______Bourbon_luv______HushingViolence__One_FineMessbellicosejasonRockKrallerCochinaMasFina____ShaunNaNaD
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If the person you're with isn't making you a better version of yourself, pack your fucking bags and find someone who does. Life is short.

    • 1,768
    • FAVS
    Pauline06081815Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelClockTowerGirlglo1129LitaKC____kwirkyKerrimissamanda
    • 1,151
    • RETWEETS
    Pauline06081815Jay_FrickinLynnNurily_alinhamadazaghdanAzrilAzraeiNrlHawakwirkyKerrinrlhudaff
    Lani_HaydenOverdue_BillsDIDUSAYCHEESEwickedmayfairim_not_smug______Cayenne7300inconsequentia2AllThingsCLEVEmorrisjr77thedailymarkerFallun_AngelDiaperSlingerJEllis1313gavinpivottNatetheEnigma
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first.

    • 1,665
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelCVTBabypretty_neuroticScigglezJessObsessFuzzzyNutsTheBeerGuy73
    • 1,043
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnangrypumpkinsOoohIceTheLangesterAmberMValentinejulianadelillaaassiekaymompopp
    VFlorrrdemented_AshDocBrown21Lani_Haydenmeisologyzachreinert03MindByteseliserose5AlbertaChrisjrogasmFeistyGnome______VodkaMaryGinlickerflukyness
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Why the fuck has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?

    • 1,759
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnLunaFallsDownSapphireBelstillwatrsBeansAndThingsJarrodMartin83sarahhooper234becsilly
    • 859
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnangrypumpkinsbecsillyTeenMomFanLLWhat_a_sinSRPreglertarkshouseNirajIdea
    thetobbieAristotlesNZMidgetsparHannahAnticsMajorDickDanger__sameblackshoes1__
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    When someone shares their favorite songs with you, embrace them, because they're giving you a small glimpse into their soul.

    • 1,535
    • FAVS
    TheTweetOfBobJay_FrickinLynnSquirrelyBlondehambaboythechefbakesIAmTheBlindEVO3talonm_kynthia
    • 1,031
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnJonnyBadassshambaboyCutaNysaIAmTheBlindm_kynthiaevilspellzDanceOf_Light____
    Sheila_Mac420MindBytesAredubbleyou______Ophiesbest____JMFingSparkslittlekitnerboySuSuSuDonym______GimpySunshine____Hello_Bellaryan9billion______Loli_Sugragingharton
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    I'm to the point now, when people ask me where I'm from, I just mumble "Twitter."

    • 1,630
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnhevineyezSapphireBelangrypumpkinsArroiaRobin_Almighty____christinawilderTheBeerGuy73
    • 726
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelchristinawilderMaryFuckinMora57thStateTweetrgsmm67sweetsoulbarely__JahedMubin7______
    QuickBJ__________Loli_Suggaliamango________CrooklynMMAUluwatuSiapHoodieVixen
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Would you ladies quit throwing around vague sexual innuendos like, "Hi" and "Hello". They confuse the hell out of us guys.

    • 1,436
    • FAVS
    Br00klyn_BeArLuckyToken1Tweet4Tacos1snapperjonJay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelErikaDanielle94Big_Al_URPal
    • 866
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnBob_Ohhelmoscaresmezaynulabedeen_shai91headstrong_girlM3NTALGUYArroia
    ArroiaTomFuck4trypedUnsatiatedVixenCarmel_ColemanHysteriaBarbieadamthislifeAShotOfSouthRockenden_xLNczachreinert03GuyAdvisor
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    "I don't have to shave, bathe or stay in shape, but you have to look like a damn supermodel if we're gonna fuck." -Men

    • 1,504
    • FAVS
    Br00klyn_BeArLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelScigglezharlysmokinswingingtheropeTauseef31
    • 795
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnKimLaDukeharlysmokinswingingtherope_NTFG_WhitneyEileendoublewenis______moniquemburu
    CackleClubrobyn_voNikiWithIssuesSSDatedLaFuzzyNoirIvsy01JesatronicKittySaysMeeowteddywah
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    What do you do when someone makes you feel unwanted? You make walking away look fucking easy. That's what you do.

    • 1,346
    • FAVS
    _holy__diver_LisaaaaaanDonnie_FairburnLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnblondecoffeebeauty4_souljehSapphireBel
    • 779
    • RETWEETS
    Donnie_FairburnLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBel4leafcloverIVRuurahspellbind_islama7med101
    SamePageDifDayfa_que2super_morgasmhidingfrommeStickyickyBuns
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Brag all you want about your accomplishments, but until you've gotten out of bed while being depressed, you don't know shit about challenges

    • 1,200
    • FAVS
    LuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelScigglezalmostnandsswingingtherope_NTFG_JessObsess
    • 709
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnswingingtherope_NTFG_Pitinkadubstephh__alanajones__blonde_hysteriaConvoInMyMind
    PeachyiskGeminiJewNymphoFor________BambamVictoriadick_ishFakeMe4Life______eliserose5galiamango_________Gambrinous______TransaparenT
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Remember, a random act of kindness can be as simple as leaving someone the fuck alone.

    • 1,143
    • FAVS
    angel55533Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelmoiragallagaJessObsessTheBeerGuy73Pitinkasmeemps
    • 582
    • RETWEETS
    angel55533Jay_FrickinLynnlipsaahoyselknawarbird622DevilInTheDarklovemyboots111shiflett_megan
    swbelievesSuthurn_mess______HestiaApolloragingharton
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    To all you assholes that harass the women on Twitter,

    Go fuck yourselves.

    Sincerely,

    The guys that actually get laid

    • 1,136
    • FAVS
    BarryThornburghLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelJessObsessTheBeerGuy73KaalaPup_sarah_nelson_
    • 558
    • RETWEETS
    Erich03767606Jay_FrickinLynnKaalaPupMartianAmbassad8ightof10enviciousbabydollkimwilliamzJCBNE
    JWilsonGA________bfrosty04________DjKC_117mediocregeeshegotagronk
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Don't tease someone for their physical attributes. It's not like they went shopping and picked them out, you ignorant fuck.

    • 989
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnbeauty4_souljehSapphireBelchristinawilderswingingtherope_NTFG_DemandXpression__caliraingirl
    • 655
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnMahanooor_coRrigibleSapphireBel_NTFG_caliraingirlTheBeerGuy73rosegalv7
    _wangwegaliamango________SlabBaconBPcloudybonesSkullcat
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    When a woman tweets about sex it doesn't mean she wants you to DM her about it, you pathetic, greasy fuck.

    • 1,154
    • FAVS
    BarryThornburghGoodGirlByNightJay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelchristinawilderTheBeerGuy73PitinkaTheColorChloe
    • 490
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynndoublewenis______Sasbb75__________JanetSm87782028whitneypongl3av3it2briCourtneeyCookWareaglechick32
    Clare_innitRadOrDieAllstalkedout
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you're forced to choose a weapon, choose words. They leave wounds that never heal.

    • 956
    • FAVS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBeldrunkNnaughtyswingingtherope_NTFG_TheBeerGuy73PitinkaOne_FineMess
    • 598
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnharlysmokin_NTFG_dvbeebooembalmrgirl______MF_QBUsayim2crazyCoreyFreeman
    BlondechachasususudafedFallun_Angelfa_que2leo_mak27BlondiethegoodNotthatAdamWestmochanya
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you ladies are into the married guy that's flirting with you on Twitter, remember, there's a reason why nobody's fucking him at home.

    • 1,127
    • FAVS
    BarryThornburghLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelporridgefaceJenGwenSven_NTFG_TheBeerGuy73
    • 421
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnJenGwenSvenharlysmokin_NTFG_gristle_kissescanadasandramariahshannonQU1ETK
    browneyegirl9facciabellaGeaux2GirleTHEgoddessJadedChainsLani_HaydenSheena_Bo_BinaWisdomBooth______
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Who was the stoner that got high as fuck and decided to put ice cream between two cookies? We need to give that motherfucker a medal.

    • 942
    • FAVS
    ridiculous_kyleBarryThornburghLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelScigglezTheBeerGuy73LoveNLunchmeat
    • 508
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynndoublewenis______OmarIndeedTakeSomeRipsBitchIzzBackpattiv40hoops_Daddygristle_kisses
    WeissBrandon______illuminatedwndr
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you get offended by a tweet, blame your parents, because they raised a fucking pussy.

    • 739
    • FAVS
    BarryThornburghJay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelNyanperona___baam_Scigglezharisridzebonyjhart
    • 603
    • RETWEETS
    Jay_FrickinLynnSapphireBelPrettyLilLiarxxMasyitahhhMahathirAlHadieyraisaacKatharinaMateusxazamxnordinx
    meekrabsRandomlyMJmojo_bones_EvilPandaX
@BarebakAssassin

@BarebakAssassin

I may not be able to hit bottom, but I'm a pro at banging it off the sides. Also, I swear a lot, because fuck you.