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  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women:

    1.) "No" means no

    2.) "Maybe" means no

    3.) "Yes" means maybe

    • 3,069
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrgreen_eyed_dollat1stiwasafraidDarkTallBastardPatWallaceGerntTNejmichaels1amyjane79__
    • 2,280
    • RETWEETS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrat1stiwasafraidDarkTallBastardejmichaels1JalopyJamboreeShermanPartsamyjane79__fuzzlime
    ShaunRightNow1BigMickUnicornBaxI_Mee_Myself_DeanB15TinaMavruslg1davidallendosReverend_ScottThedudishMicheleAKALipsb00bjizzshellyspiveyNoLuckWantedStevie_Talk8bitSportsDocBrown21SupersurlycarpeJosephlvvzzleft_flankCarmel_ColemanNoorShammaCrMul____________thetobbieDavidOzmundWickedSicaJoblessSamuraidannydogmouthadamtrossgolfImHopel3ssTitaniumToplasshipchkkNotJPo__MoCannoli________SinD357__________Walmartin2012Cantankerous_E
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Hold doors open for women, tell them they're beautiful and fuck them like animals. It's simple.

    • 2,023
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrHownaTehNemsterDarkTallBastardPatWallaceejmichaels1masochisticlife__whodat_bayougal
    • 1,104
    • RETWEETS
    DarkTallBastardejmichaels1RoughHandedRealJinjaNinjaRealShaughnJay_FrickinLynnbeauty4_souljehThatSapphireBel
    Jay_FrickinLynnNikkiJayD________Stevie_TalkKyrieFayeGetCougarizedThe_imBROgliogidget_76Mi_SSbehaved__mellimellemeaganbb1________thetobbieAllThingsCLEVETheUnseenMe______AllTheUglyTruthNot_From_TroyTheBaconBoobies__Carter_TCBKittySaysMeeowKaeWhy270InconsteveableGregTheFuckAsianOtherWhite
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    I watch an old man walk his wheelchair bound wife by my house every night, in case any of you motherfuckers needed to know what love is.

    • 1,857
    • FAVS
    jessicabrook_12rawwwwwwwwwwrrrTehNemsterDarkTallBastardPatWallaceCaitlinKotoooKenzieKateKrutasgibson5150
    • 1,112
    • RETWEETS
    OldUncleDaveODarkTallBastardWayne_SSshamsrimezGlynosAckermondNuttYskuLgurLIvicaCapanYoxallred
    MrsJekyllsHydeSoapyJohnsonb00bjizzsquashguy15bkdcaseydavidtravel1063tylerdarrin______cixelsidgod______Bourbon_luv______HushingViolence__One_FineMessbellicosejasonRockKrallerCochinaMasFina____ShaunNaNaD
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If the person you're with isn't making you a better version of yourself, pack your fucking bags and find someone who does. Life is short.

    • 1,773
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrDarkTallBastardejmichaels1RoughHandedRealJinjaNinjaPauline06081815Jay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBel
    • 1,154
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    Lani_HaydenOverdue_BillsDIDUSAYCHEESEwickedmayfairim_not_smug______Cayenne7300inconsequentia2AllThingsCLEVEmorrisjr77thedailymarkerFallun_Angel__DiaperSlingerJEllis1313gavinpivottNatetheEnigma__
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you always think the grass is greener on the other side, maybe you should water what the fuck you have and see how that works out first.

    • 1,672
    • FAVS
    TehNemsterSearchME_NikiaSDarkTallBastardejmichaels1RoughHandedBUSCHLight_RealJinjaNinjaJay_FrickinLynn
    • 1,046
    • RETWEETS
    DarkTallBastardejmichaels1RealJinjaNinjaJay_FrickinLynnangrypumpkinsOoohIceTheLangesterAmberMValentine
    VFlorrrdemented_AshDocBrown21Lani_Haydenmeisologyzachreinert03MindByteseliserose5AlbertaChrisjrogasm__________FeistyGnome______VodkaMaryGinlicker________flukyness
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Why the fuck has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?

    • 1,768
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrTehNemsterDarkTallBastardejmichaels1RoughHandedffraskyRyanRadosMatteroffact80
    • 867
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    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrDarkTallBastardejmichaels1ffraskymega_chickMatteroffact80w00f_w00fRealJinjaNinja
    thetobbieAristotlesNZ__MidgetsparHannahAnticsMajorDickDanger__sameblackshoes1__
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    When someone shares their favorite songs with you, embrace them, because they're giving you a small glimpse into their soul.

    • 1,540
    • FAVS
    Awesomeagain2falfindshappy__J_Dazzle76ejmichaels1RealJinjaNinjaTheTweetOfBobJay_FrickinLynnSquirrelyBlonde__
    • 1,036
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    Sheila_Mac420MindBytesAredubbleyou______Ophiesbest________JMFingSparkslittlekitnerboySuSuSuDonym______GimpySunshine____Hello_Bellaryan9billion______Loli_Sugryan__hart
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    I'm to the point now, when people ask me where I'm from, I just mumble "Twitter."

    • 1,634
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrJaniceLReadMelissaJoy33RealJinjaNinjaJay_FrickinLynnhevineyez________ThatSapphireBelangrypumpkins
    • 729
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    rawwwwwwwwwwrrriamgurpRealJinjaNinjaJay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBelchristinawilderMaryFuckinMora57thStateTweetr
    QuickBJ__________Loli_SuggaliamangoCrooklynMMAUluwatuSiapHoodieVixen
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Would you ladies quit throwing around vague sexual innuendos like, "Hi" and "Hello". They confuse the hell out of us guys.

    • 1,441
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrejmichaels1kitchucklesRoughHandedRealJinjaNinjaBr00klyn_BeArLuckyToken1Tweet4Tacos1__
    • 869
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    ArroiaTomFuck4tryped__UnsatiatedVixenCarmel_ColemanHysteriaBarbieadamthislifeAShotOfSouthRockendenleft_flankzachreinert03GuyAdvisor
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    "I don't have to shave, bathe or stay in shape, but you have to look like a damn supermodel if we're gonna fuck." -Men

    • 1,510
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrTehNemsterDarkTallBastardRoughHandedJaniceLReadRealJinjaNinjaBr00klyn_BeArLuckyToken1
    • 799
    • RETWEETS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrDarkTallBastardiamgurpRealJinjaNinjaJay_FrickinLynnKimLaDukeharlysmokinswingingtherope__
    CackleClubrobyn_voNikiWithIssuesSSDatedLaFuzzyNoirIvsy01__JesatronicKittySaysMeeowteddywah
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    What do you do when someone makes you feel unwanted? You make walking away look fucking easy. That's what you do.

    • 1,348
    • FAVS
    sniffthatshit86RealJinjaNinja_holy__diver___LisaaaaaanDonnie_FairburnLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnblondecoffee
    • 781
    • RETWEETS
    iamgurpRealJinjaNinjaDonnie_FairburnLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBellorrhaleighRuurah
    SamePageDifDayfa_que2_themadchatterhidingfromme__StickyickyBuns
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Brag all you want about your accomplishments, but until you've gotten out of bed while being depressed, you don't know shit about challenges

    • 1,207
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    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrDarkTallBastardRoughHandeddrayzzealawson78__JaniceLReadRealJinjaNinjaLuckyToken1
    • 712
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    DarkTallBastardalawson78__RealJinjaNinjaJay_FrickinLynnswingingtherope___NTFG_Pitinkadubstephh__
    PeachyiskGeminiJewNymphoFor________BambamVictoriajumpdasharkFakeMe4Life______eliserose5galiamango_Gambrinous______TransaparenT
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Remember, a random act of kindness can be as simple as leaving someone the fuck alone.

    • 1,147
    • FAVS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrRoughHandedJLYRICAL118RealJinjaNinjaangel55533Jay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBelmoiragallaga
    • 585
    • RETWEETS
    JLYRICAL118iamgurpRealJinjaNinjaangel55533Jay_FrickinLynnlipsaahoyselknawarbird622
    swbelieves______Suthurn_mess______PreachySnowryan__hart
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    To all you assholes that harass the women on Twitter,

    Go fuck yourselves.

    Sincerely,

    The guys that actually get laid

    • 1,138
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    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrRoughHandedBarryLeeMusicLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBelJessObsessTheBeerGuy73
    • 558
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    Erich03767606Jay_FrickinLynnKaalaPup_carlosdangeromyhalleviciousbabydollkimwilliamzJCBNE
    JWilsonGA________bfrosty04________DjKC_117mediocregeeshegotagronk
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Don't tease someone for their physical attributes. It's not like they went shopping and picked them out, you ignorant fuck.

    • 1,005
    • FAVS
    HannahOstrich__iamsimoChristineKeanexchilolo27PeaceMakersCoPhr4c7Ur3m0xomPaigee_Jones
    • 674
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    aneesarrr__dsfzaraghjklTaybaRehmanmhrb_96shahishtiaqueraffacakes_Dream3r__HijabiOnQuack___
    _wangwegaliamangoSlabBaconBPcloudybones__Skullcat
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    When a woman tweets about sex it doesn't mean she wants you to DM her about it, you pathetic, greasy fuck.

    • 1,161
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    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrMrsBarterbecwarnoMellySingsDoomMaxAbrahmsPerlalalocaRoughHandedBarryLeeMusic
    • 494
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    MellySingsDoomdirtysheeetsBeaautifulblissjunayed_Jay_FrickinLynndoublewenis______Sasbb75__________JanetSm87782028
    Clare_innitRadOrDie__Allstalkedout
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you ladies are into the married guy that's flirting with you on Twitter, remember, there's a reason why nobody's fucking him at home.

    • 1,153
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    TaraAtLastpastirkaGrayFifield_rojavioleta__Ali2onBennettjhwiltsTheKendrixBobSantamaria
    • 429
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    browneyegirl9facciabellaGeaux2Girl________eTHEgoddessJadedChainsLani_HaydenSheena_Bo_BinaWisdomBooth______
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you're forced to choose a weapon, choose words. They leave wounds that never heal.

    • 959
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    HOWlDlSAPPEARRoughHandedonlymurattJay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBeldrunkNnaughtyswingingtherope___NTFG_
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    LMCKAY18fawmaster69Jay_FrickinLynnharlysmokin_NTFG_dvbeebooembalmrgirl______MF_QB
    Blondechachasususudafed__Fallun_Angel__fa_que2leo_bgwBlondiethegoodNotthatAdamWestmochanya
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    Who was the stoner that got high as fuck and decided to put ice cream between two cookies? We need to give that motherfucker a medal.

    • 944
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    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrRoughHandedridiculous_kyleBarryLeeMusicLuckyToken1Jay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBelScigglez
    • 509
    • RETWEETS
    rawwwwwwwwwwrrrJay_FrickinLynndoublewenis______naturalnoviceAlwaysHazedBitchIzzBackpattiv40hoops_Daddy
    WeissBrandon______illuminatedwndr
  • BarebakAssassin
      B @BarebakAssassin

    If you get offended by a tweet, blame your parents, because they raised a fucking pussy.

    • 745
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    MindBytesrawwwwwwwwwwrrrfadzlisamsudinNurAfiqahMdNoorJulesJuliettaTw0PennethBarryLeeMusicJay_FrickinLynn
    • 608
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    azrynazizJulesJuliettamyeonbunnydrsshkYNWA_1Jay_FrickinLynnThatSapphireBeliamvanessa__
    meekrabsRandomlyMJmojo_bones_EvilPandaX
@BarebakAssassin

@BarebakAssassin

I may not be able to hit bottom, but I'm a pro at banging it off the sides. Also, I swear a lot, because fuck you.

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