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I just went into Starbucks and brought a cup of English tea because I'm a renegade. #yolo
My cat went missing for 6 months. When it finally returned it was fatter, a different colour, had a new collar and had a sex change.
No I don't want to 'login with Facebook'
Have you ever noticed that bears never look like they need a hair cut.
My tweets are so bad even my own girlfriend won't follow me.