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@Bauart
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@Bauart's (David R Jennings) most faved Tweets...
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I'm just hoping Angelina Jolie hooks-up with Val Kilmer... the "Vagelina" headlines would be priceless!
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Bauart
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Once on Twitter I followed a girl and she followed me and we laughed and talked about life and how she was a man from Detroit.
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Bauart
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The "Phone Company" today delivered a bag of yellow fireplace kindling right to my door. Thanks phone company!
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I have just updated my "State of the Union" status to "It's Complicated".
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Bauart
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Most women are concerned about turning 40, but that's just 1 in "Cougar Years".
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Bauart
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The only allowed use of the phrase, "It's not you, it's me", should be during a struggle for the last parachute.
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Bauart
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There may not be an "I" in team, but there is a "me" (and also "tea" "am" "at" "meat" "eat" "EMT" and "mat"). So, your point?
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FarmVille? Meh... Wake me up when they launch Margaritaville.
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Alcohol and sexting go together like porn and the internet. (Or, um… I meant it's wrong and stuff).
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Bauart
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The only thing that will get America on a diet is to organize Walmart Parking by customer weight. Fatties get the outfield.
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If you think Walmart shoppers are scary you should go to "Golden Corral" and see them... "eat"! OMFG!!
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Bauart
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Police sex is called copulation. Foreigner sex is called fornicating. Police screwing foreigners is called border control.
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Today.......... is.......... Type like..... William.......... Shatner Day.
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In Texas you can't throw a rock without hitting a republican or a Baptist. But I keep trying.
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One more apology and Letterman will earn full Canadian citizenship.
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Bauart
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Just saw Sarah Palin on Fox News. *SNAP!* And just like that, Glen Beck seems a little smarter.
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Laundry ✔ Vacuum ✔ Walk Dogs ✔ Groceries ✔ Water Lawn ✔ Put Pants On....? DAMNIT!!
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New Years Eve I'm gonna party like it's 1999. (You know..., like it was back before George Bush f**k'd everything up).
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I don't like the numbers, "3", "7" and "9". They're just so.... odd.
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It's OK to be redundant. Just don't do it over and over and over, again and again.
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