@Bauart's (David R Jennings) most faved Tweets...
I'm just hoping Angelina Jolie hooks-up with Val Kilmer... the "Vagelina" headlines would be priceless!
Once on Twitter I followed a girl and she followed me and we laughed and talked about life and how she was a man from Detroit.
The "Phone Company" today delivered a bag of yellow fireplace kindling right to my door. Thanks phone company!
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I have just updated my "State of the Union" status to "It's Complicated".
Most women are concerned about turning 40, but that's just 1 in "Cougar Years".
The only allowed use of the phrase, "It's not you, it's me", should be during a struggle for the last parachute.
There may not be an "I" in team, but there is a "me" (and also "tea" "am" "at" "meat" "eat" "EMT" and "mat"). So, your point?
FarmVille? Meh... Wake me up when they launch Margaritaville.
Alcohol and sexting go together like porn and the internet. (Or, um… I meant it's wrong and stuff).
The only thing that will get America on a diet is to organize Walmart Parking by customer weight. Fatties get the outfield.
If you think Walmart shoppers are scary you should go to "Golden Corral" and see them... "eat"! OMFG!!
Police sex is called copulation. Foreigner sex is called fornicating. Police screwing foreigners is called border control.
Today.......... is.......... Type like..... William.......... Shatner Day.
In Texas you can't throw a rock without hitting a republican or a Baptist. But I keep trying.
One more apology and Letterman will earn full Canadian citizenship.
Just saw Sarah Palin on Fox News. *SNAP!* And just like that, Glen Beck seems a little smarter.
Laundry ✔ Vacuum ✔ Walk Dogs ✔ Groceries ✔ Water Lawn ✔ Put Pants On....? DAMNIT!!
New Years Eve I'm gonna party like it's 1999. (You know..., like it was back before George Bush f**k'd everything up).
I don't like the numbers, "3", "7" and "9". They're just so.... odd.
It's OK to be redundant. Just don't do it over and over and over, again and again.
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