@juliadavidovich SHANANANANANANANANA STEVE STEVE

Drugs are my Anti Drug

@thebattleangel a good friend will remove your pant

I'm bored with yoga. Can't we just fuck like two potato sacks on top of one another?

To do list. 1. Shave pep-peps inner thigh hair 2. Cure cancer 3. Become a fungal spore and float to Finland.

The Legend of Zelda: Interdimensional Vuvuzela

WE DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO THE UNDEAD IN KENTUCKY BY GAWD.

BRING BAZOOKA HORSE THE HEAD OF MICHELLE BAUCHMAN AND I WILL GRANT YOU LIFE EVERLASTING.

When did Animal Planet get so depressing? http://t.co/gnHyLsz

#ThingsYouShouldStopDoingInYour30s being alive

#1waytopissmeoff is to accuse me of not bein' fly as shit cause bitch ya know I is. *dusts shoulders*

lurlurlurlurlurlurlurlurlur

THEY SEE ME ROLLIN', THEY HATIN' http://t.co/5EkLd4Q

GO-GO BAZOOKA HORSE FORCE! GO!/ DEFENDING LOVE AND BEER AND WEED/ ALL OUR ASSHOLES ARE A MYSTERY/ TO THE WORLD/ EXCEPT YOUR DAD

This pic entertains me to no end. I've been fixated on its wonder for at least 12 hours now. http://t.co/8KP5KvC

Cold medicine is giving me like -15 charisma points.

Well, I just turned on Power Rangers SAMURAI for a minute and their new MegaZord shot a fucking rainbow of hatred from its forehead. #OHSHIT

This is the most intense Puppy Bowl I've seen since Puppy Bowl II back '06. Who will win Most Valuable Puppy? #PuppyBowl

If depression had a flavor it would be birthday cake oreos

@dvstin_ I LIKE ELVIS THE MOST WHEN HE SINGS THEM GOSPEL SONGS, BOY HE SHORE DOES MAKE EM SOUND GOOD