A bee the size of a new born kitten has taken over my kitchen. If I was allergic this might be my weight loss miracle.

The last member of Metallica that didn't go pussy shows his twatness by endorsing a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter.

@joerogan the whole thing is stupid

#survivorfinale Indonesia ???? I love this show

#idol just got a chance to watch today. Can't understand why they sent home blondie over happy girl who was off key.

@vodka_a_jones if you and @robdelaney got together you'd have a whole bathing suit.

is that yani #oscars #tweetroast

I love when I follow someone and I see their 56,789 followers go up by 1. It makes me feel so special.

Do not ask what I would do for a Klondike bar. You may be considered an accessory.

@foureyedannie you and me borh

@joerogan damn skippy

#christmastree #happiness #prettylights #christmas  http://instagr.am/p/TMyV3tASp2/ 

@sab_official @dellboychisora don't know who u r but I just drunk followed u. #drunkfollowing

@bigbadblake how very Seuss of you

@69centcone at least your socks match. pic.twitter.com/dwOOqOyq

@mikedrucker now it's sunny. Oh wait cloudy. Sunny again. Sun shower. SF weather needs lithium.

Light it up Timmy!!! #PenNinja #SFGiants #WORLDSERIES2012

@danjackson415 like a stud!!!!

Love people!!!!!


No srsly hate em..... Realy really hate em

@sundas_shah He Got Bidened!!!! #VPDebate2012 #teambiden #RyanTalkingRyanLying