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I live in constant terror that the other person in the conversation will suddenly ask me what their name is.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Margaret Thatcher Haberdasher Lawyer Sawyer Temp Employer Hooker Baking Pie
Oh. My. God. Becky. Look. At. The. Sky. That's. Not. Normal. Becky. I'm. scared. Becky. Becky? BECKY? ＢＥＣＫＹ
Of the four dimensions I could've spent my life being pushed inexorably forward through, I guess "time" isn't the worst.
Saying "everything is offensive to somebody" to justify being a dick is like saying "you can't prevent ALL fires" to justify smoking in bed.
No one blogs like Gaston / Twitpics dogs like Gaston / No one has a collection of pogs like Gaston's.
At its heart, Back To The Future is a revisionist history about black people learning Rock 'n' Roll from white people.
THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD EVER REACH ME / USED SOME SORT OF A "REACHER HAND"
National Scheduling Conflict Championships Canceled
Remember—you can't spell "Libertarian" without "the public schools that taught you to spell."
A lot of Twitter's support staff have quit recently because of <%= reason %>.
She found a SNACK MACHINE behind the DAIRY QUEEN / She was the BEST SNACK FINDER that I've EVER SEEN
I'm rubber, you're glue, Kevin's glass, that lady over there is Kevlar, it's all here in my notes.
Obama, crouched motionless behind the sofa, heard Boehner's footsteps draw near. He took a deep breath and shifted his grip on the Pokéball.
TOP STORY: Is Social Media Not a New Thing? Is It Just People, Talking, Like They Always Do, With The Same Upsides And Downsides As Before?
Women! Always trying to steal your magical kayak that works on land, amirite? This one woman, anyway. Oh jeez she's gaining *paddles faster*
I'm here to chew gum and plan ahead ... and I brought extra gum.
Maybe this is the vodka talking, but [falsetto voice] I'm made from potatoes!