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mam, are u aware u just crashed ur car "I DONT CARE" u literally just crashed into a bridge "I LOVE IT" excuse me? "IM IN THE MILKY WAY" wut
Most couples I know are in awful relationships (I attend a Christian university) and I'm just over here like hey I want some of that
just got back from IHIPHOP. its like IHOP except they play chill beats while the waitresses twerk all over your pancakes
*is at mcdonald's*
can i get umm.. Let's see... Can I get a witness?
*people of all ethic backgrounds suddenly appear*
*we break into song*
*opens a book* wtf this isn't the internet
if i was a waiter i'd say things like "excellent choice sir" even if all they ordered was water
i'm probably gonna lose followers for this but it needs to be said: i didn't care for season 3 of that's so raven
If you get struck by lightning while smoking an electronic cigarette you turn into Guy Fieri
hostess: welcome to buffet king. table or booth
hostess: Excuse me
*points at table of big black family*
me: i wanna sit with them
a pig named bug
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