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Hi I'm an 18 yr old girl and I've dated 3 guys out of the four billion on Earth and I'm here to say all guys are the same
mam, are u aware u just crashed ur car "I DONT CARE" u literally just crashed into a bridge "I LOVE IT" excuse me? "IM IN THE MILKY WAY" wut
Most couples I know are in awful relationships (I attend a Christian university) and I'm just over here like hey I want some of that
just got back from IHIPHOP. its like IHOP except they play chill beats while the waitresses twerk all over your pancakes
*is at mcdonald's*
can i get umm.. Let's see... Can I get a witness?
*people of all ethic backgrounds suddenly appear*
*we break into song*
*opens a book* wtf this isn't the internet
if i was a waiter i'd say things like "excellent choice sir" even if all they ordered was water
i'm probably gonna lose followers for this but it needs to be said: i didn't care for season 3 of that's so raven
If you get struck by lightning while smoking an electronic cigarette you turn into Guy Fieri
an N is just a sideways Z. That's why when you sleep you actually make a NNNNN sound but since you're laying down it sounds like ZZZzzzz
Sure, people mock me now for feeding ham cutlets to pigeons in the park, but soon they will be big and strong... And I will have my revenge
# government shutdwon
RT to save america
"Women are strong! I blew people to get where I am today. Tits." - Marilyn Monroe
Today is a sad day. What a brilliant man.
*walks up to guy wearing Taco Bell uniform waiting for the bus* thank you for your service
my mother's expectations for me are decreasing with age. the other day she says to me "you'd make a great car salesman"