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Hi I'm an 18 yr old girl and I've dated 3 guys out of the four billion on Earth and I'm here to say all guys are the same
mam, are u aware u just crashed ur car "I DONT CARE" u literally just crashed into a bridge "I LOVE IT" excuse me? "IM IN THE MILKY WAY" wut
Most couples I know are in awful relationships (I attend a Christian university) and I'm just over here like hey I want some of that
just got back from IHIPHOP. its like IHOP except they play chill beats while the waitresses twerk all over your pancakes
*is at mcdonald's*
can i get umm.. Let's see... Can I get a witness?
*people of all ethic backgrounds suddenly appear*
*we break into song*
*opens a book* wtf this isn't the internet
if i was a waiter i'd say things like "excellent choice sir" even if all they ordered was water
i'm probably gonna lose followers for this but it needs to be said: i didn't care for season 3 of that's so raven
If you get struck by lightning while smoking an electronic cigarette you turn into Guy Fieri
an N is just a sideways Z. That's why when you sleep you actually make a NNNNN sound but since you're laying down it sounds like ZZZzzzz
Sure, people mock me now for feeding ham cutlets to pigeons in the park, but soon they will be big and strong... And I will have my revenge
# government shutdwon
RT to save america
"Women are strong! I blew people to get where I am today. Tits." - Marilyn Monroe
You don't know pain until you've been a middle class white 16 year old that got their heart broken by another middle class white 16 year old
I'm eating chick fil a in the parking lot of a David's bridal on my drive back home to Texas. I'm gonna miss you Los Angeles
I performed stand up for the first time at an actual comedy club tonight & was paid 15 dollars. I spent it all on cheap liquor & easy women
is it a good sign when you're talking to a cute girl and every time you stop talking they look up from their phone and say "sorry, what?"