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New York subways shut down due to hurricane. People now forced to urinate in bathrooms.
#Santorum said Obama's agenda is "phony theology" because it's not "based on the Bible." Santorum needs to get laid & read the Constitution.
Women love the Oscar-nominated movie “The Artist,” because they get to watch a man say only two words in an hour and 40 minutes.
Twinkies Sold for Over $60 on EBay. This is what happens when you legalize pot.
#Santorum vows crackdown on hardcore porn. Hey Ricky, if anyone is going to touch our porn, we're going to touch it ourselves.
It's impressive Dick Cheney wrote a book. Typing with hooves must be a bitch.
Good news: Obama and Congress struck a deal to avoid debt crisis. Bad news: Entire country has to eat Ramen noodles for the next 4 years.
If anyone asks how many miles are in the Indianapolis 500, you have the right to hit him over the head with a tire iron. #Indy500
@richardengelnbc reports that the Egypt ballots are closed & ballots are being counted. Unfortunately, they're being counted in Florida.
#Santorum said that watching JFK’s speech in 1960 made him want to throw up. He was 2 at that time, so it could’ve been the strained peas.
Newt Gingrich is slowly going away, which means the antibiotics are working. #NewtGingrich
"Bachmann is out." Who knew this statement would apply to Mrs. Bachmann?
Cheetah the chimp sidekick in the Tarzan movies of the early 1930s has died at age 80. There goes the new story arc on "Hot in Cleveland".
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and your friends laugh at you.
In honor of Emmy day, an orchestra will begin playing when your Tweet goes over 120 characters.
Real writer. Fake redhead.
Stats can't be shown as @BethArmogida has never signed in to Favstar.
