Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.

I'm tired of "poking"...can we have a "Spank Me Daddy" button?

Sometimes I wonder if men & women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now & then.

I dont trust most people any farther than I can throw em. We were built with instinct for a reason...follow it

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know...

Dude. Your proctologist called. They just found your head.

Never regret growing older. It's a privilege denied to many.

Trust me, as you get to know me, I just get weirder...

Never, ever, ever assume anything. Rarely do things go down the same way we envision them in our head.

Thank God people can't read my thoughts....I'd be so fucked

I fucking love funny people

I have OCD & ADD. So everything has to be perfect.... Just not for very long

The opposite of love isn't hate....it's indifference

"Call Me Maybe"...ugh makes my ears bleed

Sometimes, when the going gets tough, the tough get it on with someone else

There's nothing sexier than a man who enjoys giving as much as receiving

That little thing called DEPTH. It's so damn sexy, I don't understand why more people don't have it....

Dildos are good, vibrators are fun, but nothing beats the mighty tongue....or so I hear ;)

I wanna be here. Now.  http://twitpic.com/bvir5o 

I only ask this question every year, but.... are bars open tonight?