Tweeting while masturbating to 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'...

Uh-oh, my follower count is growing.

Better talk about sucking Satan's cock again (to weed out the pussies)...

What's w/ these cunts who get upset about not being followed back? I never, ever ask for follows & I only follow if I like your stuff... :/

Iron Chef should use people as the secret ingredient at least once; we ARE the other, other white meat.

Last night, I told myself that I'd try giving more of a fuck today, but somehow I just don't think it's gonna happen...

Anal Leakage™

I think I forget to bring my lunch to work on purpose sometimes, so I can drive around listening to metal & flipping off people for 45 min.

Went to the pharmacy, skull girlie Tshirt, visible tats, ears covered in piercings, & every sweet little old lady still talked to me. :)

Fucktardery™

Checking out prices for a full brazilian bikini wax. Can't believe I'm thinking about paying a stranger to rip out my pubes. Weird...

Meh. :/

Little girl at Target pointed at me & told her mom she wanted earrings like me. Her mom looked horrified. :D http://t.co/ReO1tPJn

I lost my virginity on some Garfield sheets, yo.

Bored, got nothing good to tweet; I should probably just stick to something I'm good at & smoke more weed...

Some teen boy here is helping his mom w/ the laundry & he's handling some nice bras so roughly that I might hit him just on principle.

I'd love to taste you with my sharpest blade...

Work blows goats so far today. Think I'm gonna go home on lunch so I can smoke pot & have sex w/ myself.

The asshole drunkard meth neighbors are fighting, AGAIN! But I've given up any hope that they'll kill each other.

Just had that magical moment when you realize you're at home & able to smoke out at actual 4:20 in your own time zone.

Yes, I am stoned. ;)

There's a dumb bitch in my office who wears wobbly stripper heels she can't walk in, everyday. Gonna find ways to trip her till she learns.