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@Beviekins' (Befralee MehGraw) most faved Tweets...
Beviekins
It's no fun to raid the fridge when it's full of fruit and yogurt! Where did the good ole days of junk food go? Oh, right. I'm wearing them.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Approximately 87.2% of my problems are due to the fact that I have a vagina. The other 12.8% are due to the fact that I don't have a penis.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
I'm not saying you're cheap for buying this sucky toilet paper.All I'm saying is that it's not the most convenient place to get a paper cut.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
I came. I saw. More batteries. Then I came again.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Living with my parents is severely threatening my sex life that I don't have but wish I had and now I can use living with them as an excuse.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
My first one-night-stand is on Facebook. Seriously considering putting "yours is the first penis I ever touched" on his page.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Omigod, I'm so hungry right now I could eat vegetables.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
If there is one thing I hate, it's hypocrisy.

I mean, I don't mind when I do it... but I won't tolerate it from anyone else.
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Beviekins
Hells yeah, I'm talented! I can cry and/or orgasm on command. It's when I confuse the two that the trouble starts. Like at Hank's funeral.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Ewww. Pinacolada is gross. I'd rather a penis in my mouth. But. What else is new. Right?
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Some days I feel like a nut.
Some days I feel like this restraining order isn't enough to keep me from making him mine forever and ever.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Trying to decide what colour to dye my... uh... drapes.

I'm not worried about matching the carpet; I'm hoping to get hard wood.
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Beviekins
I spent Fat Tuesday the same way I spend every other Tuesday. Fat.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
That's odd. These pants are really tight today. I must be retaining chocolate.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
I hate boys! Was he flirting or making fun of me? Kindergarten rules still apply, right? If he pulls my hair, I'm totally gonna score!!
@Beviekins
Beviekins
My brother just told me to fuck myself. That might offend some people but I'm just glad to have something to do tonight.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
The cop investigating my car accident was totally hitting on me. He's all "what's your name and address". What a flirt! He'll call for sure.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Twitter.
Where men are men.
And so are the women.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Pro tip: After a phone argument, always ensure the other party has disconnected before screaming FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!! Related: Sorry Grandma.
@Beviekins
Beviekins
Camel toe is sexy, right? The "guest" will be here soon & I need to know how far to pull my pants up. That's all he's getting from me today.
@Beviekins
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