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Hello 9 1 1? There s an old man beating a child on my tv
March Madness really is a stirring reminder of what America was founded on: making tons of money off the labor of unpaid black people
Mitt to his underwear: "Magic my ass!!"
Well that was a million dollars well spent.
First P S Hoffman dies, then the worst super bowl ever, then Dylan does a car commercial?? Not a good day for America.
If only the world wld look as hard for a clean alternative to oil and coal as it is for that damn plane we might be alive when they find it
If #Obama cured cancer the Republicans wld say he's trying to mandate what kind of cells we can have in our body
Obama said the score would be 24 - 21. Another lie!!!
You're losing, Mitt - bring up the fact that we have fewer knives and rocks than we did during the French and Indian War
#SarahPalin tweeted "Obama lies, freedom dies" - oh cheer up, it just means when one of ur kids gets knocked up they'll be covered
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!
Palin needs to shut the fuck up about Russia and Obama's mom jeans. A week ago she thought Crimea was one of the real housewives of Atlanta
Just read a report that said 86% of holy water tested had fecal matter in it. Holy shit!!
Germany and Argentina in the finals - what a dilemma for old ex Nazis in exile
No probable cause in #TrayvonMartin murder? If a dead unarmed teen and an angry racist with a smoking gun is too subtle a clue, what isn't?
Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who's trying to kill u - u can only hold her wrists so long before you have to slap her
Worth remembering on Labor Day Americans get fewer vacation days than anyone else in the world -cuz its better 2b miserable than socialists!
I saw an ad for scientology, i joined, and then Destiny's Child reunited! That shit works - thanks, Tom Cruise!
The Pope says Atheists can go to heaven! Yay, I'm booking my flight right now. Right after my cruise to Atlantis. Thanks, Francis!
Mike Huckabee on gays can marry:"Jesus wept"- really,about something he NEVER SAID A WORD ABOUT? Was he weeping cuz he forgot to mention it?
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