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  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Ladies, if you've ever accidentally called a fax machine, you know exactly what listening to your stories sounds like to men.

    • 1,715
    • FAVS
    _troyjohnsonPaulGiambellucaRickAaronsfagianoJTQuestblizzy_deeHortuloRealShaughn
    • 1,143
    • RETWEETS
    blizzy_deeBest_TradsRealShaughnColinRWillisbrennadineknuckles1791phoneboothfistajimwhubbard
    calluptomehipchkkayyhluscuNorthside_MikecraydriennezxgravityxzAristotlesNZ__TraylorParkerVerifiedDrunkllvvzz23_LiesBoucheDag2kHairyJew4LifeJustinFuranoOneFunnyBastardMcJakester________CaseyMcCollumKyle_Lipperttigersgoroooartamytoo2Nickadoo
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Do you know who has "AMAZING" tweets? Nobody. Nobody has AMAZING tweets! Settle down, people, they're tweets, not blow jobs.

    • 1,604
    • FAVS
    KristinDeAnn13feelingsosubbyTheWeedFatherbaeblacksheepcalluptomeiamNathanpdarinlovesbaconLlanoJoy
    • 416
    • RETWEETS
    feelingsosubbybaeblacksheeph2ojonesazzaazmanlululiciousMFshlashhzrnJulesJuliettaMollySneed
    theguydfSeanInCypressExploringUrMind__samalmightysamjoaomatthews_GroperClevelandiTomFooleryJohnThomas__llvvzzsanxsantiago
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    The most socially awkward of all the dinosaurs was the Michaelceratops.

    • 1,166
    • FAVS
    _troyjohnsonFabianHllstrmE_ReimersVYCMa_HeidarAlhassanspot_ofRosendahlJohanJimboleem
    • 773
    • RETWEETS
    JakeYokospot_ofnilrodComedians4CayeyodanJaySaysStuffIAmViolentKdanielbluth
    KyleMcDowell86PandAmonniaOhNoSheTwitntSpencerLenoxFrankie_ValIGotsSmartsCaseyMcCollum
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    After lesbians have sex, I bet there's an insane amount of not shutting the fuck up.

    • 1,133
    • FAVS
    _troyjohnsonbaeblacksheepNinja_Soup_robrichie66halfrundcluelessdreamerkrackerjaqqLilac__Sky
    • 340
    • RETWEETS
    baeblacksheepDollie_MadisonasfrzaLilac__SkyJen_says_nahCamel_Crushinjaslakhmnavanillaaafayce
    ToneLoOnTheGoSCbchbumOhNoSheTwitntJaySaysStuffTwatyTweetshunnisbones
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Truth be told, I seriously doubt that your guess is as good as mine.

    • 1,209
    • FAVS
    TomHanksIsHot_troyjohnsonMissMurderithRunwayDansiempredelilahEKentWGrahamassiekaybreeski
    • 241
    • RETWEETS
    _troyjohnsonRunwayDanKentWGrahamkatinthehat666assiekaydyslexiapunk__smally989notsleeeping
    calluptomeErik_AllenSenatorTheoKim_pulsiveWittBanterDanSackheim
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Girls are made of sugar and spice and estrogen and emotions and feelings and tears and baggage and assorted issues and I'm out of room.

    • 833
    • FAVS
    _troyjohnsonCourageDRMollySneeddietredbullTweetTheDudeNinja_Soup_Camel_CrushinErik_Allen
    • 540
    • RETWEETS
    TheLuvLessHumanTweetTheDudeCamel_Crushinmiss_saucytartsammyoriginsJaySaysStufftheninjuhapurf
    JaySaysStuffleo_bgwCanadian_HoserDepecheALAmodeShawnHatosyVerifiedDrunk
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    It's ironic that North Carolina would prohibit gay unions when they're on top of another Carolina.

    • 690
    • FAVS
    _troyjohnsonMollySneediamNathanpSkankOfTheSeaNinja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramer__lisamsharp
    • 460
    • RETWEETS
    MN_Flicka__JaySaysStufftheninjuhmathgingrasTa2WhorecaleighhraeedanielxhayScurvygirlz
    david8hughesjwoodhamMrPeeker__
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    The guy who spelled 'Wednesday' like that sure pulled off some shit.

    • 916
    • FAVS
    iamNathanpSkankOfTheSeaNinja_Soup_JustTorrencetheninjuhjuskewitchreeshmangForbidInjustice
    • 206
    • RETWEETS
    iamNathanptheninjuhjaimielenthhsmash_landingJust_Jess_Again__kyleofLeslieStillingsDani_Feld
    FadedVersaceEarth2EddieTrainedHedonistgarnhumRowdyPrimate
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Give a man a blowjob and you'll eat for a day. Repeat indefinitely.

    • 987
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenForbidInjusticeJust_Jess_Again__FratheisthuntigulaPellMullSenatorTheo
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    LowededSenatorTheothetwofacenastyRamosOnTheRocksnormmynorm__ARobustLoofahdiANAtiffANY______El_gr8cornholio
    llvvzzzTeeter_TotterZachXJDonPadrote
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.

    • 808
    • FAVS
    _troyjohnsonbuhsbaby_babyDawn_M_canadianatlargeemiilshanecenterscelestinelea90kwikyking
    • 255
    • RETWEETS
    XladeOrainbuhsbaby_babycanadianatlargeshanecentersShiramstar65kwikykingNickKave
    KevinBuffaloUpturnedBathtubashley_barnhillbedheadblonde____SnarkToast
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Hey girl with 20,000 tweets and 14 followers, I'm guessing you should probably shut the fuck up.

    • 782
    • FAVS
    CourageDRhippocroteezNinja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramer__BlaineBrucereeshmangForbidInjustice
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    BlaineBrucejaimielenthhsmash_landingweepindudewhitneesidloskiMarcus2767mirai5496valentinebaby82
    FSUSteve__zgbettyTheFearBoners____GroperClevelandTitaniumToplassBucketE
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    If you mean getting a blowjob while listening to the radio, then yes, I like radiohead.

    • 739
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramer__DammitKarl_ForbidInjusticeTheSolClarkesmash_landingJust_Jess_Again__
    • 184
    • RETWEETS
    SubyWillBigBadEdsmash_landingPandAmonniashutupheavthetwofacenastyRyanC6013JuggaloBrittany
    UpturnedBathtubVocabuLarry
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    A recent study revealed that the main reason why men view women as sex objects is because they have vagínas.

    • 753
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramer__reeshmangForbidInjusticeDonnie_FairburnJust_Jess_Again__Fratheist
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    Dani_Feldweepindudeloganrae98Comedians4Conume_shikuannebollbartadpoleno3
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Ugh. Vidal jokes already? Too Sassoon!

    • 341
    • FAVS
    MollySneedJimboleemNinja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramer__ForbidInjusticeDonnie_FairburnJust_Jess_Again__
    • 486
    • RETWEETS
    CarolCarminecurlymalloyaethelwolfejmswtsnLegraaawrMarcusTheTokenR15S5Favstar250
    RitleySammich
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    I just figured out that my asshole neighbor is using my Wi-Fi network. I'm gonna change the name of my network to "I fucked your wife".

    • 760
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Lilac__SkyErik_AllencandlerfamtheguydfForbidInjusticeDonnie_FairburnJust_Jess_Again__
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    XladeOrainLilac__SkyChangeThaGame77Just_Jess_Again__mahatmatweeterDani_Feldjaki_hallnetropolis
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    I just put a huge load in the dishwasher.

    She spit it out though. :(

    • 725
    • FAVS
    sc_vaughnChaunceyHappensMollySneedabedulerfuckmikegtunacan1229pearsasmoneyNinja_Soup_
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    JimboleembmalksCamel_Crushinsarita7108ThePaaawnShopflwrblsmRhinoURtinytestes
    edheenan__________ItsNotDavey______
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    If you mean rubbing ice on girl parts, then yes, I like coldplay.

    • 538
    • FAVS
    MollySneedrayzviberushil_shah3Carlo_TONinja_Soup_SDPlissken1geografsT_Bizzle
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    SubyWillBigBadEdwezgunnerolgamariesmithLollohajewell09pau_sans14JoanOfSnark9
    NikiWithIssues
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Just saw a girl eating. In March. Wow. Guess she doesn't give a shit about bikini season.

    • 503
    • FAVS
    JimboleemrayzvibestreblesonthomasrummellSamLoonieMollySneeddietredbullNinja_Soup_
    • 277
    • RETWEETS
    MollySneedfavstar_historyJust_Jess_Again__mahatmatweeterDani_FeldweepindudeEtherealNomadthetwofacenasty
    FattMernandezproEXgirlfriend
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Babies are like Radiohead. Only a few people like them. Everyone else just pretends to.

    • 466
    • FAVS
    kikiluver23libbyboo412spookypilots_nmbellJaylyn_NicoleeJimboleemwatupitssasaCostal_clique
    • 308
    • RETWEETS
    corinnypoosaysdavie_doodleode_to_dream_Camel_CrushinComedians4CAveCrallscottydangerouscabbieBot
    david8hughesGrowlyGregogavinpivott
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    I'm not dumping you. I'm cancelling my subscription to your issues.

    • 532
    • FAVS
    JimboleemdietredbullTobyDSmithtrailriderizzycrackalackiChristianPlanteBobGrimlockasianlizard
    • 237
    • RETWEETS
    nisseysaysAustinNix123jjhoopsmualllvvvzzzMiciuraUtahniabewmmAroraMadhulika
    SCbchbumMelvinofYork
@BillMc7

@BillMc7

Current head writer for all the TV shows. Follow me, RT and favorite all my tweets, and I'll probably give you a job.

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