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  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Ladies, if you've ever accidentally called a fax machine, you know exactly what listening to your stories sounds like to men.

    • 1,640
    • FAVS
    tweepolarcavsaddictjuliepie76imadepoopstodayTehNemstercrashrnApplehead714Momogl
    • 1,091
    • RETWEETS
    Cosmic_KrakenohsheslovelyykatemnorrisBonesHerGav_vs_TheWorldTexasBornBlondeCuerpoGolososarahmaramara
    ayyhluscuNorthside_MikecraydriennezxgravityxzAristotlesNZ______TraylorParkerVerifiedDrunkllvvzz23_LiesBoucheDag2kHairyJew4LifeJustinFuranoOneFunnyBastardMcJakester________CaseyMcCollumKyle_Lipperttigersgoroooartamytoo2Nickadoo
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Do you know who has "AMAZING" tweets? Nobody. Nobody has AMAZING tweets! Settle down, people, they're tweets, not blow jobs.

    • 1,595
    • FAVS
    androidsencdbrown570Ninja_Soup_windblownsongCitizen_Ken_lllvvvzzzTravistyBaldwinMmmYeahNo
    • 408
    • RETWEETS
    windblownsonglllvvvzzznestocrSimoneMohunlalggvm___________fabi_lindorajustin_liebmantheguydf
    theguydfSeanINCypressExploringUrMindsamalmightysamjoaomatthews_GroperClevelandiTomFooleryJohnThomas__llvvzzsanxsantiago
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    The most socially awkward of all the dinosaurs was the Michaelceratops.

    • 1,155
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_StephenBCramerkor_daviesiamsunshine78_jennjennJaySaysStuffTheJakeMan27jaslakhmna
    • 770
    • RETWEETS
    ayeyodanJaySaysStuffIAmViolentKdanielbluthWienerQueenCaraDoiljenswilliam8like69ninjas
    KyleMcDowell86PandAmonniaOhNoSheTwitntSpencerLenoxFrankie_ValIGotsSmartsCaseyMcCollum
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    After lesbians have sex, I bet there's an insane amount of not shutting the fuck up.

    • 1,131
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_robrichie66halfrundcluelessdreamerkrackerjaqqHappyGoFuckidyZombie_KitdxblarssonENG
    • 339
    • RETWEETS
    Dollie_MadisonasfrzaHappyGoFuckidyJen_for_realCamel_Crushinjaslakhmnavanillaaafaycetheninjuh
    ToneLoOnTheGoSCbchbumOhNoSheTwitntJaySaysStuffTwatyTweetshunnisbones
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Truth be told, I seriously doubt that your guess is as good as mine.

    • 1,180
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_kathymvaccarojamben82VenusFlyTrapzSamigrl2BearCoolzSaraESpiveyCamel_Crushin
    • 225
    • RETWEETS
    BLG216VenusFlyTrapzSaraESpiveyJeff_Hotflips1The_KJMdr_Shame_Jr_sweet_hamTuffyNyC
    Erik_AllenSenatorTheoKim_pulsiveWittBanterDanSackheim
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Girls are made of sugar and spice and estrogen and emotions and feelings and tears and baggage and assorted issues and I'm out of room.

    • 828
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Camel_CrushinErik_AllenStephenBCramerJermHimselfishmiss_saucytartElephartryaninco
    • 538
    • RETWEETS
    Camel_Crushinmiss_saucytartsammyoriginsJaySaysStufftheninjuhapurfsmash_landingconrc
    JaySaysStuffleo_bgwCanadian_HoserDepecheALAmodeShawnHatosyVerifiedDrunk
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    It's ironic that North Carolina would prohibit gay unions when they're on top of another Carolina.

    • 686
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramerlisamsharpiamsunshine78_jennjennScottLinnenXGreenTeam
    • 460
    • RETWEETS
    MN_FlickaJaySaysStufftheninjuhmathgingrasTa2WhorecaleighhraeedanielxhayScurvygirlz
    david8hughesjwoodhamMrPeeker
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    The guy who spelled 'Wednesday' like that sure pulled off some shit.

    • 914
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_JustTorrencetheninjuhjuskewitchreeshmangForbidlnjustice1sasseladyJulieSnark
    • 205
    • RETWEETS
    theninjuhjaimielenthhsmash_landingJust_Jess_AgainkyleofLeslieStillingsDani_FeldPellMull
    FadedVersaceEarth2EddieTrainedHedonistgarnhumRowdyPrimate
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Give a man a blowjob and you'll eat for a day. Repeat indefinitely.

    • 987
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenForbidlnjusticeJust_Jess_AgainMaxAutonomyhuntigulaPellMullSenatorTheo
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    LowededSenatorTheothetwofacenastyRamosOnTheRocksnormmynormARobustLoofahdiANAtiffANY______El_gr8cornholio
    llvvzzzTeeter_TotterEcksJay22DonPadrote
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Hey girl with 20,000 tweets and 14 followers, I'm guessing you should probably shut the fuck up.

    • 780
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramerBlaineBrucereeshmangForbidlnjusticesmash_landingJonasPolsky
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    BlaineBrucejaimielenthhsmash_landingconrcwhitneesidloskiMarcus2767mirai5496valentinebaby82
    FSUStevezgbettyTheFearBoners____GroperClevelandTitaniumToplassBucketE
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.

    • 751
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_windblownsongErik_AllenStephenBCramerForbidlnjusticeJonasPolskyJust_Jess_AgainMaxAutonomy
    • 218
    • RETWEETS
    trialfemmewindblownsongemptybottleofjdGuyLeicesterDigiFluidDani_FeldEtherealNomadRandomlyTyping
    UpturnedBathtubashley_barnhillbedheadblonde____SnarkToast
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    If you mean getting a blowjob while listening to the radio, then yes, I like radiohead.

    • 739
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramerDammitKarl_ForbidlnjusticeTheSolClarkesmash_landingJust_Jess_Again
    • 182
    • RETWEETS
    smash_landingPandAmonniashutupheavthetwofacenastyRyanC6013JuggaloBrittanyViolent2Dope304harvardlsd
    UpturnedBathtubVocabuLarry
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    A recent study revealed that the main reason why men view women as sex objects is because they have vagínas.

    • 753
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramerreeshmangForbidlnjusticeDonnie_FairburnJust_Jess_AgainMaxAutonomy
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    Dani_Feldconrcloganrae98Comedians4Conume_shikuannebollbartadpoleno3
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Ugh. Vidal jokes already? Too Sassoon!

    • 339
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_Erik_AllenStephenBCramerForbidlnjusticeDonnie_FairburnJust_Jess_AgainMaxAutonomyhuntigula
    • 486
    • RETWEETS
    CarolCarminecurlymalloyaethelwolfejmswtsnLegraaawrMarcusTheTokenR15S5Favstar250
    vaporcoffin
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    I just figured out that my asshole neighbor is using my Wi-Fi network. I'm gonna change the name of my network to "I fucked your wife".

    • 760
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_HappyGoFuckidyErik_AllencandlerfamtheguydfForbidlnjusticeDonnie_FairburnJust_Jess_Again
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    HappyGoFuckidyChangeThaGame77Just_Jess_AgainmahatmatweeterDani_Feldjaki_hallnetropolisX_Redvelvet
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    I just put a huge load in the dishwasher.

    She spit it out though. :(

    • 718
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_theguydfCamel_CrushinErik_AllenStephenBCramerForbidlnjusticeDonnie_FairburnJust_Jess_Again
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    bmalksCamel_Crushinsarita7108ThePaaawnShopflwrblsmRhinoURtinytestesmahatmatweeter
    edheenan__________ItsNotDavey______
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    If you mean rubbing ice on girl parts, then yes, I like coldplay.

    • 535
    • FAVS
    Carlo_TONinja_Soup_SDPlissken1geografsT_BizzleLollohaAndyFr3twellthecoolnoodle
    • 251
    • RETWEETS
    Tanaka122olgamariesmithLollohajewell09pau_sans14JoanOfSnark9NomadTogScurvygirlz
    NikiWithIssues
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Just saw a girl eating. In March. Wow. Guess she doesn't give a shit about bikini season.

    • 496
    • FAVS
    Ninja_Soup_StephenBCramerreeshmangForbidlnjusticeDonnie_Fairburnaint_no_prophetbillybarkermiss_saucytart
    • 275
    • RETWEETS
    Just_Jess_AgainmahatmatweeterDani_FeldconrcEtherealNomadthetwofacenastyhashtagbluntsDanielRCarrillo
    FattMernandezproEXgirlfriend
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    I'm not dumping you. I'm cancelling my subscription to your issues.

    • 530
    • FAVS
    TobyDSmithtrailriderizzycrackalackiChristianPlanteBobGrimlockasianlizardOxbloodAbernthyMcHoldmyhoops
    • 236
    • RETWEETS
    AustinNix123McHoldmyhoopslllvvvzzzMiciuraUtahniabewmmAroraMadhulikarjletona
    SCbchbumMelvinofYork
  • BillMc7
      Bill Mc7 @BillMc7

    Babies are like Radiohead. Only a few people like them. Everyone else just pretends to.

    • 447
    • FAVS
    _hyfrericasteven_kaufmannadhoops24Camel_CrushinErik_AllenStephenBCramerComedians4Ctwentyonedorks
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    Camel_CrushinComedians4CAveCrallscottydangerouscabbieBotcatoranojmitchelllittlekibebs
    david8hughesGrowlyGregogavinpivott
@BillMc7

@BillMc7

Current head writer for all the TV shows. Follow me, RT and favorite all my tweets, and I'll probably give you a job.