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I'm a wolf in cheap clothing.
The Arizona Cardinals hire the first female coaching staff in NFL history. Was just their way of saving 30% on the salary cap.
I hate waking up with a kink in my neck. It always grabs the bondage gear and I just want to cuddle.
If your name is Trish and you haven't legally changed your last name to Thedish then what's the point of living?!
The moral of the Three Little Pigs is basically be rich enough to build a fancy big house or you'll die. Great kids book!
My inner child is a drunken whore. Just like my outer adult.
The wife wants us to have a cheat day on our diet so I signed up for Ashley Madison.
My wife keeps trying to convince me to have more children but quite frankly I'm not a fan of the flavor.
I'm not one to judge but you're an idiot.
If Super Mario taught me anything it's that drugs always help you get the girl.
Only users lose drugs.
Find big accounts that have blocked me is my superpower.
I'm not heavy. I'm cuddly. Bitch.
Bleach but for feelings.
Funeral slow clapper. Rubber of elbows. Slapper of thighs. Eater of sandwiches.
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