Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Now that we are all finished sliding sweet meat down our throat holes we can get back to the business of drinking.
So, who wants to grab some dinner?
Nice deal on a crock pot you got there! Only had to knife three people!
I'm stuffed to the gils which is impressive because I didn't know I was a fish.
Some call it mass genocide, others call it justified warfare. Either way I'm eating pie today so for that I'm thankful.
The thing I'm most thankful for this year is being white. My chances of being shot by a cop are practically negative.
This drives on the wall!!! “@greateststuffoe: Wall Climber RC Car - http://greateststuffonearth.com/wall-climber-rc-car/ … pic.twitter.com/I0FcDm2ftO”
My wife's favorite sexual position is taking a nap.
Don't forget to turn your scales back ten pounds tomorrow.
It's only a matter of time before Americans just start hooking themselves up to a feed hose.
A hamburger for a $1 isn't a good deal. It's disturbing.
My kid will probably agree with other kids when they say their dads could kick her dads ass.
I just threw my back out stepping off a curb so yeah, I'm kind of a bad ass.
Cocaine is the best way to get rid of that pesky mid-pregnancy weight.
Strip clubs serve breakfast. How does Denny's exist?!
Ever get that look on your face like your asshole just had an orgasm when you're taking a dump?
Funeral slow clapper. Rubber of elbows. Slapper of thighs. Eater of sandwiches.