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They are called personal problems for a reason. Keep them to yourself. Sincerely, Everyone on the Internet.
An average of 308 million hours of sleep will be lost in America tomorrow. Starbucks execs said to be sporting major wood tonight.
As if you didn't hate your alarm clock enough, tomorrow you're gonna let it lie to you.
I don't believe in 98% of the shit I tweet. It's the other 2% however that you should be worried about.
Shes going down, I'm lovin Tinder
Dont have to move, shes in my pants.
Let's bang tonight, play with my member
It is fun, though we just met
It's International Women's Day so guys, when she's done making you a sandwich, cleanup after yourselves.
Missed connection: You were knuckle deep picking a juicy one in traffic on 36th and Main. Our eyes met. We smiled. Is this love!?
Women love a man who can make them laugh so I don't see what the problem is with having a small penis.
Stop counting calories and start counting pronounceable ingredients.
Is this stuffed dog super creepy or kinda cool? http://www.shopstyle.com/p/melissa-doug-oversized-golden-retriever/283533170?image=e6ca136316f3e07d40c826268f87df05&utm_medium=Pinterest&utm_source=ShareProduct&pid=uid8321-24699361-76 …
Can we all please petition Bandaids to change their name to Bitch Stickers?
The greatest things frozen:
2: John Wayne
3: Chers vagina
4: My fathers heart
Happy Every Girl Turns Into A Cheap Stripper Tuesday everyone!
Funeral slow clapper. Rubber of elbows. Slapper of thighs. Speaker of wit. Eater of sandwiches. Seeker of jobs.