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Why is it that getting your ass chewed is bad but getting your ass eaten is so good?!
Guys stepping up to take care of someone else's kids are the real heroes today.
National Pre Fathers Day Blow Job Day
Chick-fil-a is handing out Father's Day cards today with a card for free breakfast in it. Stay classy!!
Fathers get tools and grills, mothers get messages and spa days. Hey dad, you lazy bitch, now you can fix shit while mom gets a break.
Is some one stops at nothing to achieve something, wouldn't that mean he didn't try to do a damn thing? He stopped. When? At nothing. Loser.
Fathers Day is basically a holiday celebrating a parents sole achievement of not inadvertently killing their children.
Brace yourselves, "He's comin' fer er guns!" posts will be raping your news feeds all this week.
The only thing my childhood prepared me for was the ever present dangers of quicksand. Best childhood ever.
Funeral slow clapper. Rubber of elbows. Slapper of thighs. Eater of sandwiches.
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