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Pee Wee Herman is rumored to have bought every ticket available to the first screening of 50 Shades of Gray.
Dirty martinis are like regular martinis except dirty martinis are more likely to do butt stuff.
Has anyone been able to figure out why they still make a white crayon?
Tetanus, another clever example of the English languages ability to hide the word anus.
Combine heroin with a tetanus shot. You're welcome used needle users.
Twitter where the stars are free and the points don't matter!
Clowns are people too! Soulless, evil, good for nothing people.
Twitter: We basically invented the unwanted dick pic.
What kind of flowers do you give her to say sorry for the wrong hole?
Has anyone ever felt the need NOT to masturbate to strangers humping?
Funeral slow clapper. Rubber of elbows. Slapper of thighs. Speaker of wit. Eater of sandwiches.