When I go into your guest bathroom, I don't look through your medicine cabinet, I scratch my ball sack with your hair brush.

I notice a parallel in life re: how I lusted for older hot girls when young and now younger hot girls when old. Also, rejection is the same.

If drinking alone is so bad, then why am I my own best audience/friend/sex partner/drinking buddy?

I know I'm getting older cause the gals playing 'mom of nerd' in commercials these days look pretty fucking good from where I'm sitting.

@25_vero You've been warned. By your self... Probably won't work though. Doesn't for me!

Bread is really just an edible meat glove.

@25_vero funny you would say that because I love assholes. On girls anyway.

My couch is my kingdom and I rule horizontally. Huzzah!

Just like most other folks, I am pissed and unhappy while at work and happy & relieved when it's finally over. Beers and cheers!

A fuck was not given, not the entire day.

Isolationist much? Nah I just hide behind my Blackberry while posting anon tweets to be read by people I don't know and who don't know me.

I have been told I eat pussy better than a lesbian. So, there's that....

My liver hurts when I drink. My liver hurts when I don't drink. I prefer drinking.

Denying your self pleasurable things in the hope you may live longer is like living in reverse. I think they call it 'dying'.

Girls with butts drive me nuts. Yes, my standards are not your standards.

I am such the CrackBerry user, I actually grow my thumbnails longer just so I can hit these effen keys w/my sausage fingers. Yes ladies!

I think they call my beard a Van Dyke because it's better than a dick when I'm being a cunning linguist.

@25_vero "The hills fill my heart,
With the sound of music
My heart wants to sing
Every song it hears"

We all want what we don't have and have what we don't want. Good luck with that.

Life is like a baseball game. Long periods of interminable boredom punctuated by brief moments of intense excitement.