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Bacon is like the sizzled labia of a goddess.
I hate poetry.
More than you knowetry.
I wish it would go awayatry.
Far, far awayatry.
Thanks to all who star my tweets. If you think I'm funny, why not RT? Am I that person you're ashamed of following? Am I your DL tweetlover?
Anyone need a roommate who likes to play video games, read comic books, & watch movies while critiquing the hell out of them? I'm desperate.
My 10 year old cousin just asked me who Justin Bieber is. I pushed her down a flight of steps to keep her soul cleansed.
Never understood women who have been attracted to me. Can't they tell by the look on my face that sex will be joyless and traumatic?
Jesus died so I can get time and a half.
Back in the grave, sweetheart.
I wish I could borrow one of Megan Fox's thighs as a pillow for the rest of my worthless life.
My life is slowly turning into a Silent Hill video game, complete w/ deranged versions of real people horrible sense of dread & bad controls
Stop.... HAMMER VAGINA
I want to trust fall into your vagina.
Should I start blogging? Would anyone read page after page of self-delusion, masturbation & farts?
I wish my penis could scream.
Cupid is a little bitch.
I'm a fucking mentally disturbed nutcase.
Epic Jesus died for our wins.
I follow some celebrities cuz they're funny or I interact with them. Know who's not funny? The Wayans family. None of you bastards.
I am a real American. Religion is insane. The government is falling apart. Your heroes are dead. I am again not allowed to follow :-(